I Dated A Much Older Man & It Taught Me A Lot About Love

I Dated A Much Older Man & It Taught Me A Lot About Love ©iStock/Mkovalevskaya

When you’re a teenager, the idea of dating an older man is usually pretty gross. But as we move into our 20s and 30s ourselves, the amount of acceptable years between us and a potential suitor change. A decade or more is no longer gross, but actually pretty intriguing — and although some women still think it’s too much, the rest of us recognize that older guys are a whole different species. I’ve dated a few older men, and one in particular who was much older. The experience taught me a lot about love, and here’s why I’m glad I did it:

  1. Older men have been through a lot more of “life” than you have. It can help to have someone put your major crises into perspective. It can get annoying to have him reminding you that what you think is devastating is actually just a blip, but his perspective can help you put yours in check.
  2. They’re less likely to play games. I’ve dated older men who have been married, divorced, have kids, and some who’ve also always been single. In all cases, they were less likely to play games, beat around the bush, or BS me about what they want. This is not to say older men don’t come with their own sets of problems, but the typical dating woes of our age group are not in play.
  3. They’re less likely to ghost on you. Ghosting is a terribly rude habit men of our generation have adopted. Older men, however, seem to be less likely to pull that crap and are more likely to be upfront and break up with you if it isn’t working. The getting broken up with part still blows, but at least you aren’t endlessly wondering WTF went wrong and how he could just vanish.
  4. They don’t conduct their personal business via text, social media etc. Modern relationships are conducted via text and social media. If you’re adverse to social media like I am, then an older guy is great for you because they actually pick up the phone and call you. I know! Mind blown.
  5. They don’t expect you to be a model. In my experience, older men appreciate the female figure more broadly than younger men, who usually expect us all to be supermodels. I don’t know why this miraculous and wonderful change occurs, but thank God it does. I’ve rarely felt as beautiful as I have when dating an older man, even in sweats and a t-shirt.
  6. They (sometimes) have their act together. Of course, this isn’t true of all older men, but if you’re going after the right type of older man, he probably has his life together. Men who have already had families, children, and careers know what they have to do to be productive and reach their goals.
  7. They know what they’re looking for. Since older men have been around a bit longer and experienced more, they have a better idea of what they want out of a partner and life. It’s refreshing to date someone who knows pretty quickly if you are or aren’t what they want.
  8. They don’t care about your past. Since they have a lot more past than you do, they understand that your past got you where you are, but that it doesn’t define you. They’re far less likely to get hung up on your exes, your “number,” or any of that B.S. that men closer to our age seem to be obsessed with.
  9. They give you hope for the future. The future of men, that is. Look at it this way: even if the older man you’re dating is not your forever, the next younger guy you date could be. One day, he’ll be older, and hopefully like these great older guys you’ve been dating. Men get better with age like wine… at least I hope so.
  10. They’re great in bed. Again, this won’t apply to all older men, but generally speaking, with experience comes skill. Since older guys know what they want, they also know what they want in bed, and what you want, too. They understand that being a good partner means taking care of you too!
  11. They’re more mature. This one is probably a given, but their maturity matters a lot. They’re less freaked out to meet your parents, have grown-up discussions, admit their feelings, move in together, or break it off if it isn’t right. There is a lot less extra B.S. and less wasted time.
C. is an aspiring yogi and Ph.D student who loves her dogs, bright lipstick and to travel. Find her on IG @drparko121314