Years ago, I used to sit in front of the mirror for hours before a first date, applying my makeup precisely to make my face look as perfect as possible. I didn’t want a false eyelash out of place, a touch of lipstick color outside my lip line. I agonized over my appearance because I wanted the guy I was meeting up with to think I was hot. These days, I don’t bother. Here’s why I never wear makeup on a first date anymore (and I don’t plan on ever starting).
Here’s the deal
- I want him to see the real me. I’ve never worn so much makeup that I looked like a completely different person, but I want the guy I’m going out with to see me as I am, bare-faced with maybe a zit or two here or there, depending on the time of the month. I do put effort into staying hydrated and taking care of my skin, so I’d like to show that off too.
- I don’t want to set a false precedent. Wearing makeup on a first date sends the message to the guy that I’m always going to look like that. He’ll probably think I’m the type of woman who wears makeup on a daily basis (I’m not) and that every time we meet up, I’ll be made up to the gods (I won’t be). By going makeup-free, I’m letting him know what he’s in for right off the bat. If that’s not his vibe, I’ll be on my way.
- I don’t want to be accused of catfishing. This has never happened to me personally, thank goodness. However, it has happened to one of my friends and I feel like it’s pretty common. She went out on a few dates with him before they slept together and since he stayed the night at her place, she eventually removed her makeup. The guy left the next morning and texted her later saying he didn’t want to see her anymore. He claimed she had catfished him about her appearance by always wearing makeup only to show her “real” face after they had sex. I’m not here for that.
Besides…
- Most guys barely make an effort with their appearance. I can’t tell you how many first dates I’ve been on where this has happened. I turned up in a smokin’ outfit and a full face of makeup. The guy turned up in a wrinkled shirt (sometimes even with stains) and jeans that look like they haven’t been washed since he bought them. I end up feeling cheated that I went to great lengths and they just showed up in whatever was balled up in the corner of their bedrooms.
- I’m a busy woman and I don’t always have time. While I’d like to have more free time, I just don’t. I have a great career that keeps me busy and responsibilities to tend to outside of work. Because of this, I don’t always have time to do makeup before a first date even if I wanted to. Sometimes I’m coming straight from the office to a date. The guy’s lucky I even made it on time, never mind being done up.
- I don’t wear makeup in my day-to-day life much. I throw on a bit of mascara and a touch of lipstick every now and then if I’m feeling fancy. However, makeup just doesn’t play a huge part in my daily life. I’m not against it, by any means. I even like how my face looks with it on during special occasions. However, I don’t feel it’s necessary for me to look good. I don’t feel weird or unattractive without it, so most of the time I don’t bother.
- I just don’t want to. It’s really as simple as that. A first date is about seeing if there’s a connection between me and another person. Whether or not I wear makeup is pointless. I want to be judged on my character, not my appearance. I get that physical attraction is important. However, if a guy only wants me for how I look, we’re not meant to be.
