We all feel a bit down sometimes, but there’s a major difference between having a bit of a lull and an overall feeling of loneliness and isolation. It’s not always easy to spot, especially since many people are embarrassed by feeling that way and will try to hide it. However, if you notice these behaviors in someone, they could be struggling.
1. They avoid socializing.
People who are lonely might start avoiding social situations. It’s not because they don’t like people — in fact, it’s usually the opposite. They may feel out of place or believe that they won’t be missed if they don’t show up. If you notice someone consistently making excuses not to join in with the group, it might be a sign of loneliness. What’s worse is that it can become a vicious cycle where the less they interact, the more isolated they feel.
2. They’re overly attached to their gadgets or the internet.
Phones and computers can be a way for lonely people to distract themselves or fill a void. If someone is constantly online but rarely engages in real-life activities, it might mean that they’re substituting virtual interactions for real connections. This digital over-engagement is often a mask for the lack of fulfilling, real-world relationships. Encouraging them to get offline and out into the world can be a way to help them reconnect with themselves and other people.
3. They Overcompensate in Social situations.
Overcompensation comes in many forms, from being overly talkative or making too many jokes to being too eager to please. This behavior is a way to mask their discomfort and to desperately create a connection with people around them. They might be scared of being unnoticed or forgotten, so they try hard to leave a memorable impression. However, this can sometimes have the opposite effect and end up putting people off.
4. Their Sleep Patterns Are Irregular.
Lonely people often struggle with sleep, whether via insomnia or feeling exhausted no matter how much shut-eye they get. This can be because their minds are active with too many thoughts, or they’re using sleep as an escape. If you know someone who often talks about not sleeping well or sleeping at odd hours, they might be experiencing loneliness. It especially sucks because the exhaustion that comes with a lack of quality sleep can make them feel even more isolated and alone.
5. They always complain that they feel sick.
Loneliness can manifest in physical symptoms if it gets bad enough. The person might complain a lot about headaches, stomach issues, or general fatigue without a clear medical reason. It’s their body’s response to the emotional stress of feeling isolated. These physical complaints can be a cry for help and a way of expressing their internal struggle. Show some concern and encourage them to talk about how they’re feeling. It might help!
6. They talk negatively about themselves.
Self-deprecating comments can be a sign of loneliness. When people feel isolated, they often start to believe the worst about themselves. If someone constantly puts themselves down or questions their worth, it could be a reflection of their inner feelings of isolation. This negative self-talk is a harmful side effect of feeling disconnected and undervalued. Offering compliments and positive affirmations can sometimes help counteract these feelings.
7. Their conversations always revolve around themselves.
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It might sound counterintuitive, but lonely people can sometimes appear self-centered. They’re not necessarily narcissistic; it’s just that when they do interact with other people, they might be so eager to be heard and understood that they dominate the conversation. This behavior can be a result of not having many opportunities to share their thoughts and feelings with other people. Being patient and showing genuine interest in their stories can help them feel more valued and less isolated.
8. They turn down a lot of social invites.
When they get invited to social events, lonely people might seem uninterested or like it’s a major inconvenience for them. It’s not that they don’t want to come; they might feel unworthy or anxious about being around other people.. This can be misconstrued as disinterest or rudeness, but it’s often a defense mechanism. Offering reassurance and making them feel welcome can sometimes help overcome these barriers.
9. They always seem depressed or anxious.
Someone whose mood is perpetually in the gutter may be feeling so low because they’re extremely lonely. Same goes for if they don’t show much interest in things they used to enjoy — it could mean that they’re feeling isolated. This change in mood is a response to the emotional pain of loneliness. Being a consistent and positive presence in their life can make a big difference.
10. They Have a Hard Time Making Eye Contact.
Avoiding eye contact can be a subtle indicator of loneliness. People who feel isolated might find it hard to look others in the eye, as it requires a level of emotional openness they might not feel comfortable with. This can be a subconscious way of shielding themselves from further stress. Gentle encouragement and showing understanding can help them feel more at ease during conversations.
11. They seem to have no friends or other close personal relationships.
If someone doesn’t seem to have any close friends or family they talk about or spend time with, it could be a sign of loneliness. Humans are social beings, and a lack of deep, meaningful relationships can lead to feelings of isolation and loneliness. This absence of close connections often leads to a deeper sense of emptiness and disconnection from the world. Encouraging them to reconnect with old friends or make new ones can be helpful.
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