We all feel a little lonely sometimes, but if that feeling persists and seems to be with you more often than not, there’s obviously something deeper going on. You might not even realize how pervasive of an emotion it can be, but if you find yourself relating to the following, you’re becoming more isolated and lonely in life and need to make some changes.
1. You feel like no one understands you.
We’re all on our own unique paths in life, and maybe you’ve been through some experiences that were very shocking or traumatic. Or, maybe you just have a sinking suspicion that you think and feel things differently than others, and as a result, you’re pretty sure no one in this world could possibly understand you. That’s not true, but it is a sign that you’re becoming more isolated and lonely. The more you’re segregated from the world around you — even if it’s your own doing — the fewer genuine connections you get to share with other human beings. It’s no wonder you’re feeling misunderstood — you’re not giving people the opportunity to understand you!
2. All you do is reminisce about the past.
Nostalgia is a powerful drug — coming across a picture of yourself with an old partner or friend, hearing a song you used to love, or going somewhere you once enjoyed visiting can trigger a serious stroll down memory lane. That being said, you should eventually be able to pull yourself out of this reverie and back into the present moment. If your entire life these days is all about looking backward instead of ahead of you, you’re clearly struggling with loneliness.
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4. You don’t trust anyone.
I definitely get this one — I tend to be more skeptical than trusting, and it makes sense. There are plenty of people out there with less than noble intentions who will screw you over without thinking twice about it. However, you do have to be able to find a circle, however small, of people you can rely on to have your best interest at heart. When you can’t trust anyone, you can’t open up to anyone, and that means everything going on inside of you stays there and builds until it explodes and you end up feeling isolated, lonely, and probably pretty miserable.
5. You feel alone and empty even in a crowded room.
You could be in the middle of a massive party full of dozens of people and still feel like you’re completely and utterly alone. It’s a state of mind you’ve gotten yourself into, usually because you’re not in a great place mentally. Not everyone is super extroverted or the life of the party, but if you feel completely disconnected from everyone and everything around you, there’s obviously something more going on. If you don’t find a way to identify and repair that disconnect, it’s a chasm that will only get worse.
6. You struggle to let down your guard.
Obviously, you don’t need to spill your life story to anyone and everyone who will listen — and you probably shouldn’t. However, you do need to be able to let people in so that they can get to know the real you. Otherwise, how will you ever form deep, meaningful connections with other people? If you don’t feel like you can speak your mind or be your authentic self, it’s worth thinking about why that might be and what you can do to change that.
7. You’re sleeping more than normal.
The older you get, the more you realize that not much beats some deep, uninterrupted shut-eye. However, if you’re getting that pretty consistently but it’s still not enough — you find yourself hitting the snooze button multiple times every morning and falling asleep at work or even while watching TV in the evenings, this may be down to feelings of being lonely or isolated. You might be feeling extra exhausted and using sleep as an escape from those unpleasant feelings.
8. You often feel like you can’t relate to people around you.
In addition to not feeling like anyone would understand you, you don’t feel like you understand anyone else either. Their experiences, feelings, and opinions feel strange to you, like they’re on a whole other planet and you just can’t reach them. It’s odd, really, especially because you probably actually have a lot in common with these people. However, you just can’t manage to find that common ground in a way that helps you relate with them.
9. You stay in more often than you go out.
At first glance, this isn’t really a big deal. Maybe you’re just a homebody or a low-key introvert and you like hanging out on your own. That’s cool! However, if you spend more time isolated at home with no one else to talk to or be around, it’s no wonder you end up feeling lonely and sad. We all need companionship in life — it’s normal! — and without it, you can end up suffering some serious consequences in re: your mental health.
10. Most of your interactions take place on social media.
The internet was a great invention for many reasons, one of which is that it connects us to people all around the world that we wouldn’t necessarily get to meet. The problem, however, is that technology is so ubiquitous these days that it’s easy to get wrapped up in a social scene that takes place entirely online and then never interact with people in real life. If you talk to people you’ve never actually met more often than you do your actual friends you’ve known for ages, you’re allowing yourself to become more lonely and isolated.
11. You feel intensely sad when you’re alone.
This is perhaps the biggest sign of loneliness. Being on your own shouldn’t be a depressing situation (at least not when it only happens in moderation). You should be comfortable enough in your own skin and with yourself that you can easily fill your time when it’s just you. Not only that, but you should relish your alone time because you see it as the perfect opportunity to recharge your drained social battery and spend some quality time with yourself. If being alone fills you with dread and severe anguish, you may need to talk to a professional. (No judgment!)
