If You Don’t Want Your Ex Back, You Shouldn’t Need To Talk To Him

It sucks to break up without any sort of closure. Whether a big fight leads him to block you or he just decided to ghost for no reason, it’s hard when you still have a billion questions that demand answers. Still, maybe it’s best to just leave things alone.

  1. As a reminder, you don’t want him back. He left you high and dry and if he did it once, he’ll totally do it again. Guys like this don’t really care about your emotional well-being and he’s proved that by refusing to get in touch with you. The more you try to contact him, the bigger his ego is going to get.
  2. You also don’t want to sleep with him one last time. Sleeping with an ex just as a “farewell” is the worst idea ever. It’ll only make your emotions towards him stronger. And if it’s not protected based on the fact that you’re too in the moment, do you really want to risk an accidental pregnancy with this guy? Not only does it look manipulative, but it’s literally promising at least 18 years of being disappointed by your ex if you choose to follow through with it.
  3. He’s never going to see you as “the one that got away.” It’s a fantasy that every girl has. One day, this guy might wake up and realize what he’s missing but sadly, it doesn’t always work out like that. Even if he tries to come back and score another date with you, it’s because he likes knowing you’ll always say yes to him. He’s probably got a rotation of girls he’s playing games with.
  4. In fact, he may see you as being desperate. If you can’t let go and get the hint that he’s not all that into you anymore, he may start getting annoyed by your texts and calls. Why are you wasting your time anyway? You know this isn’t the guy for you, so you should use your energy towards finding someone you’re actually compatible with.
  5. You’re not going to be the one to change his personality. Maybe he told you right off the bat that he’s a womanizer but you felt like you’d be the sole person to get him to commit. When someone tells you who they are, believe them. This guy was honest from the start and is probably deep into dating someone else right now.
  6. He’s probably not going to be honest with you. If you keep hounding him for information on why he broke up with you, the most you’ll probably get is, “It’s not you, it’s me!” If he ghosted, he’s just not willing to cope with the drama of a full-blown breakup.
  7. You may be comfortable with him, but you deserve better. Some people keep going back to an ex because they’re just comfortable with the dynamics of the relationship. If you’ve been with this guy for a long time, you might just be uncomfortable being single. There are so many better people out there that will actually be willing to go the distance with you.
  8. When the urge strikes, just remember why you broke up in the first place. It’s one thing if he just stopped responding to you and you have no idea what went wrong. But if it’s someone you know is toxic, focus on the bad. If this guy was actually serious about you, he’d be the one chasing you down and trying hard to right all of his wrongs but he’s not.
  9. Don’t be envious of his new girlfriend. The worst thing you can do is tell yourself you’re “so much prettier” than his new girlfriend. This isn’t a competition — you guys were simply a bad match for one reason or another and he moved on. Maybe he’ll be a terrible boyfriend to her too, but that’s none of your business anymore.
  10. Blocking his number is the best thing you can do for your well-being. Even if you tell yourself that you’ll never contact this guy again, your brain will quickly forget that the second you’ve had a couple of drinks. Don’t allow yourself to look petty in front of this guy. Remember, you’ll regret any sort of call or text when you’re emotional and inebriated. It’s even worse if you’re at a point where you don’t even remember the conversation. Block all temptations now and get rid of his phone number and text chain. While you’re at it, you might want to remove him from social media too.
Karen Belz is a New Jersey native who is currently living in Maryland. She has a Bachelor’s Degree in Speech Communication with a focus in Broadcasting and Print Media Studies from Millersville University of Pennsylvania. Since graduating, she has written for sites like LittleThings, HelloGiggles, and Scary Mommy and is currently an e-commerce editor at Bustle.

When she's not writing, she enjoys making her phone run out of memory after taking too many photos of her dog. You can find her on Twitter @karenebelz or on Instagram @karenbelz.