If You Recognize These 16 Signs, You’re Giving Too Much Of Yourself To Others

It’s great to be a generous person, but this can be taken too far. As a result, you neglect what you need from your relationships, which leaves you unsatisfied and you burn yourself out. It’s not worth it! If you recognize these 16 signs, you’re giving too much of yourself to other people and need to reel in your giving nature. It’s definitely not doing you any favors!

1. You’re Drained All The Time.

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An easy way to tell if you’re giving too many of your resources away is if you’re absolutely exhausted on a regular basis even when you get enough sleep. Your body’s sending you the clear message that you’re doing too much and it’s not healthy. You need to look after yourself.

2. You’re Not Feeling Healthy.

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Feeling drained from giving too much can also be a sign that you’re sacrificing your basic self-care to stay healthy. Maybe you’re not getting enough sleep at night, forgetting to eat meals, or not getting any exercise. Whatever the case, you’re allowing other people’s stuff to derail you.

3. You Never Say No.

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You’re always the “yes” person to everyone’s demands. You don’t want to upset anyone, so you’d rather get a root canal at the dentist than say “no” to someone’s request. You need a balanced life and you can’t achieve that if your relationships are one-sided.

4. You Secretly Feel Resentful.

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If you allow people to cross your personal boundaries and pretend it’s fine, you’re actually setting yourself up for some serious resentment. Instead of sticking up for yourself and your needs, you’re letting others stamp all over you. It’s only natural that anger will start to build up.

5. You’re Burning Out.

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It’s not easy to deal with everything on your plate and other people’s drama. Sooner or later, it’s going to be too much. Your life will suffer and you’ll risk becoming completely overwhelmed and breaking down. Look for classic burnout signs such as insomnia, irritability, and difficulty concentrating. If you notice them, you have to make a change.

6. You Feel Like A Martyr.

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You might think that it’s a good thing to give so much of yourself to help others. Maybe it makes you feel like it’s worth it to go through hard times if it means you get to keep other people happy. True generosity isn’t about sacrificing your own well-being or happiness, though.

7. You’re Ruled By Anxiety.

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Anxiety can give you clues into how you’re doing in life. According to the Mayo Clinic, if you’re feeling more anxious than usual, it could be a sign that you’re pushing yourself too much and ignoring your inner voice that’s telling you to take care of yourself.

8.  You’re Afraid Of Rejection.

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Maybe you’re so desperate to help others because you’re afraid they’ll turn you down if you don’t. This is worth exploring so you can find the root of the problem. Healthy relationships aren’t about avoiding disappointments, though. Someone worthy of your time won’t expect you to put yourself last on your list.

9. You Solve Other People’s Problems.

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Other people have their emotional baggage they have to work through. It’s not your problem. Sure, you want to be supportive and helpful, but you’re not supposed to be everyone’s Fix-It Friend. Let them take responsibility for their own life so they can grow.

10. You Don’t Have Alone Time.

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Check your schedule. Are you always busy doing something to the point where you don’t even get any time to yourself? This is risky because you need that time to recharge your energy reserves and have some self-reflection. Don’t spread yourself so thin — you’re not butter.

11. You’ve Quit Your Favorite Hobbies.

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You can also tell if you’re taking on too many demands if you don’t have any time or energy for the activities that make you feel good. This prevents you from having a healthy outlet for your stress.

12. You’re Getting Sick More Often.

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Sooner or later, pushing yourself too much and going the extra mile for others will lead to physical side effects. You might have symptoms such as experiencing more frequent colds or getting lots of headaches. Take these as a red flag. They could also be signs you’re approaching burnout, according to WebMD.

13. You’re Filled With Guilt.

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You might say “yes” to everything because you have immense guilt and even fear. You’re afraid to do anything that makes people feel bad, so you’re taking on other people’s feelings to the point of totally avoiding your own. Guilt could also be a symptom of a mental health condition such as an anxiety disorder.

14. You’ve Lost Yourself.

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If you live for other people, it’s easy for you to lose yourself to the relationships in your life. When those relationships end, you could feel like you’ve sacrificed your identity. It’s not worth it, and someone who’s truly a good partner will want you to put yourself in the number one spot because that’s what makes relationships happier and healthier.

15. You Ignore Your Inner Voice.

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Your inner voice tells you what you need to be happy. If you switch it off because you’re too busy focusing on everyone else and getting their approval, it’s like turning off your headlights while driving down a dark road at night. You’re going to end up on the wrong path, getting everything you don’t want.

16. You’ve Put Your Goals On Ice.

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Another big sign that you’re giving too much of yourself to people is if you can’t remember the last time you set aside time to pursue your goals. Maybe they don’t seem as important or you don’t have time for them, but don’t ignore your life’s purpose. It’s sad to let it go for other people who aren’t going to stop their lives for you.

Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.