Being an adult isn’t just about how old you are, it’s about how you carry yourself. Mature people know that taking accountability for their own actions is non-negotiable. They don’t lie, justify, or make excuses for their actions — they own them, even when they lead to negative consequences. If you’re still making any excuses for any of these things, it’s time to grow up.
1. Being late
I’m probably stepping on some toes here, but let’s be honest, we know how an alarm works, and we’re the ones who press “snooze” five times, Inc. notes. We owe it to ourselves and other people — our coworkers, family, and friends — to arrive at something on time, like we said we would. Being on time isn’t as much about actual punctuality as it is about showcasing a sense of responsibility and respect for other people.
2. Throwing tantrums
My 9-month-old son can throw some serious tantrums, but he also has no other way to communicate any sort of discomfort, fear, pain, or frustration. As adults, we have plenty of tools in our communication toolbox to let others know when something is bothering us. This doesn’t mean we will always be perfect, nor does it mean there isn’t room in our lives for healthy anger. Some things should make us mad and upset, but we’re too grown to respond to anger and hurt with tantrums.
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3. Sending “text” emails
If you’re sending a professional email, you shouldn’t include winky faces or abbreviations like “TBH,” “FR,” and IYKYK.” While most people would think this is obvious, I’ve had to coach other professionals in the art of sending a professional, timely, correct email. There’s a time and place for more relaxed communication, but professional emails aren’t that time or that place—ever.
4. Blaming other people for things that aren’t their fault
It’s hard to fess up when you’re to blame. I get it. No one wants to be the bad guy or the person who dropped the ball. But it’s never acceptable to let someone else take the fall for your mistake. If you forgot to schedule the meeting, let your boss know. If you forgot to grab dessert for Sunday dinner, let your mom know. Whether you mess up or not, people can always respect honesty.
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5. Bumming off your parents
My parents helped my husband and me make the down payment on our farmhouse and all its land. We didn’t have that much cash upfront, so our parents wanted to contribute to our dream. I think that’s one thing, accepting help or a gift from those you have a healthy, loving relationship with. However, it’s another thing to expect your parents to pay your mortgage every month because you’re not in the mood to get a job and pay the bills. There’s nothing wrong with getting help when life throws a curveball, but don’t bum off your parents. Have more respect for them and yourself than that.
6. Not holding down a job
You change jobs every three months because you “just weren’t feeling it” or your “coworkers are always so catty.” You’re constantly making excuses, pointing fingers at everyone else, for why you can’t hold down a job. Look, there’s no perfect job. There will always be people you don’t get along with, there will always be a need to pick whether time or money is most important, and there will always be busy work or tedious tasks that have to be done. So just bite the bullet and find a job that respects you, honors your work-life balance, and allows you to provide for your family.
7. Not looking for answers
You don’t want to send the extra email to find out why Amazon didn’t send out another shipment of the company product. You don’t want to scroll through countless blogs to find the ingredients for your crockpot recipe. You don’t want to do this stuff because it’s not fun. It’s often annoying. But don’t be so lazy about finding answers to necessary things that you never get anything done.
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8. Idolizing hobbies
You enjoy golf so much that you sacrifice quality time with your kids every weekend to hit the course. Your pottery class is so important to you that you blow money on extra craft supplies instead of chipping away at the snowballing credit card debt. We all need hobbies; these are healthy, creative outlets that bring us joy. But when those hobbies get in the way of other important things, like prioritizing family and healthy finances, it’s time to pause and reflect on how immature we are behaving.
9. Not setting boundaries
We say it’s because we don’t like confrontation or “it’s just the way things have always been,” but not setting boundaries is a subtle sign of immaturity, PsychCentral notes. Being a human-sized doormat says that you haven’t established enough self-confidence and self-worth to set firm parameters around what you will and won’t tolerate. Your fear of being disliked or facing uncomfortable conversations shouldn’t take precedence over creating a healthy balance in your life.
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10. Not keeping your word
It’s easy to lie—why else would we do it, risking relationships and reputations? But what’s less easy is restoring trust and mending relationships once you’ve lied to someone. Whether you were unfaithful in a relationship or simply said you couldn’t make it to an event because you had to be somewhere and just wanted to stay home, lying has a way of burning bridges. You’re wise enough now to know that it’s best (and even easiest in the long run) to just speak the truth and keep your word.
11. Staying in unhealthy relationships
You know how the romantic narcissists work—been there, dated that. You’re well-versed in spotting the friends who are only friends because you let them cheat off your history tests. If you know these things, why do you stay in these relationships? Life is too short to spend time tethered to people who use and abuse.
12. Backing out on a commitment
If you told your mom you would help her decorate for your sister’s birthday, do it. If you told your spouse you’d let them pick the movie for movie night, do it. Whether big or small commitments, we owe it to others to honor our word. We know what it’s like to be on the receiving end of a person who always cancels, backs out, and is unreliable, so why be that undependable person?
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13. Ignoring wise counsel
If someone who has been there and done that offers advice, don’t shrug it off. A mature person recognizes healthy counsel and isn’t too prideful to ignore it. You’re never too old to have a mentor, someone who is a few steps ahead of you in a relationship, a career, a season, etc., who can save you time and heartache. Their wisdom makes you wise.
14. Refusing to apologize
I’ve said it time and time again—pride is mankind’s greatest sin. We are so consumed with proving ourselves—establishing our prestige and worth—that we never allow ourselves to see when we’re wrong, fess up, and grow. Don’t allow so much time to pass that your “sorry” falls on deaf ears. Be mature enough to swallow your pride and apologize when you’re in the wrong—before the consequences are permanent.
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15. Ignoring your age
We only get one life—trust me, I know. I’m quite the adventure junkie. But don’t be so consumed with growing old that you literally break your neck. Recognize your age and how you can best care for your body in the stage it’s in. Talk with trusted doctors and nutritionists to ensure you’re providing your body with the best care—your mind and soul will thank you.
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