Yes, I’m Single, But I Don’t Need Your Pity

Yes, I’m Single, But I Don’t Need Your Pity ¬©iStock/mapodile

As a single girl, I hear the same painfully annoying phrases incessantly, uttered with a condescending smile: “It will happen when you least expect it.” “Your time will come.” “There’s someone out there for everyone.” What the patronizing people who feel the need to give me such stellar encouragement seem to be forgetting is that I really don’t give a damn.

  1. Who is your pity helping? Let’s be absolutely frank here — the only person who’s benefiting from your pity is you. By feeling sorry for poor single me, you’re giving yourself a big self-esteem boost. If you really want to help, hook me up with your hot friend from work. Don’t use my singledom as your validation.
  2. I’m not jealous of you. Get a grip. Do you really think the fact that you settled for that douche you met in college makes you superior? Do you really think you’re happier than me or that you’re having more fun? Nope.
  3. I’m doing me right now. There’s so much more to life than having a significant other. Only when you realize that can you have rich and meaningful experiences in all areas of life. I have my work, my creative endeavors, my social life and all of my focus still intact. I’m able to grow as a person and learn about myself with no distractions.
  4. I value my independence. As last year came to a close, I spent a month dotting around Europe, meeting fascinating new people and taking in the awe-inspiring sights. Just recently I came back from a month-long stay in balmy Barcelona. You know why I was able to do that? I’m not tied down. And then there’s the fact that I really couldn’t stand sharing my space with someone else, even if I did worship the ground they walk on…
  5. Being single is my choice. You might choose to entertain the idea that I’m unlucky in love, that the relationship fairy hasn’t brought me a shiny new partner yet. Or, if you’re a bitch, you might choose to think that I’m just plain unlovable. But did you ever consider that I might choose to be single? Gasp! It’s hard to fathom, I know.
  6. Maybe I want to sleep around. Being single doesn’t equal being promiscuous, despite what you may think. I’m just having some fun right now. You go back to having regular sex with your boyfriend or girlfriend once every Tuesday, doing the same old thing with the same old person. For me, complacency is no fun.
  7. I’m not going to try and make you comfortable. In your ideal world, I’d have someone. Then you could invite me on your couples’ weekends and to dinner parties without me being the awkward odd number at the end of the table. But I’m not going to give in to the societal norms. I’m not going to give up my life as a bachelorette to make you or anybody else happy.
  8. I’m perfectly happy rolling solo. You may like to think that I cry myself to sleep every night longing for another person beside me. It’s just not true, love. I’m A-OK the way I am, thank you very much. No other person is or ever will be responsible for my own happiness, so honestly, your pity is wasted on me.
Kelly is a freelance writer and editor from Manchester, UK.