When it comes to maturity, age is meaningless. Some guys are emotionally and mentally evolved at 19 and 20, while it takes others up to their 40s to get a clue on social etiquette and what it takes to be an adult. Here are ways to tell whether or not you’re dating a mature man or an immature child based on the things he says.
“But I don’t feel like it.” Guess what — a lot of us don’t feel like doing chores or going to big family events, but we do it because it’s expected of us and we know it’s the right thing or that it needs to be done. When a guy tries to shrug off his responsibilities with a line like this, it really shows his true colors. This is something you can expect a teenager to say.
“Do we have to?” Again, this is a childish whine. Unless he’s saying it with a smile on his face, you’re dating someone who has yet to realize that the world doesn’t revolve around him. I’m not saying that we’ll do every task we hate with a smile on our faces, but openly complaining like this just isn’t manly.
“Why can’t you do it?” When a guy busts out this line, it’s clear that he just doesn’t have any idea what your schedule looks like, nor does he care to know. Women often handle a lot more under the radar, so when we ask a guy to help us out and take on some of the chores, a line like “Why can’t you do it?” will just make us cringe.
“Shut up.” When I was growing up, “shut up” was almost as bad as a curse word. Why? Because it’s just so rude. It’s one of the meaner ways of trying to quiet someone and it just reeks of disrespect. If your guy constantly tells you to shut up, you should work on finding a new boyfriend. This one just won’t do.
“I hate you.” Does he, or is he really just saying this as an empty threat? Unless you know for sure he’s joking, saying you hate someone is the best way to hurt their feelings. If he hates you so much, he shouldn’t be in this relationship with you. And if it’s something he tells you on the regular, make sure your next boyfriend treats you like the queen you are.
“No other guy will treat you as good as I do.” When a guy says this, he’s really saying that every other guy in the world will treat you better than he does—he just doesn’t want you to believe that. When your boyfriend tries to tear you down and make you feel like you’re unlovable, he’s slowly training you to depend on him and feel as if you need him for comfort and companionship. The truth is, you don’t.
“Really, it’s our money.” One of the benefits of getting married is that you can often easily combine finances without it seeming like a huge ordeal. But if a guy tries to tell you how to spend your money without even discussing the future with you, he’s showing that he’s too immature to understand how money works. The money you earn is yours alone. The second he tries to tell you otherwise, consider yourself to be in the danger zone.
“I invited my buddy to stay with us for a couple of months.” Do you live with him? If so, that means that group decisions need to be made together. This isn’t just his place anymore and if he treats it as such, he’s too immature to realize how functional relationships work. It doesn’t matter if he signed the lease first. Cohabitating means that decisions like parties, house guests, and pets need to be made together.
“You’re so hot.” This is a great compliment, yes, but it can’t be the only one. When guys are younger, they tend to focus mostly on looks. As we get older, we realize that there are other attractive qualities about our partners. Does he ever mention your killer sense of humor, your cleverness, or the fact that you’re kicking butt at work right now? If not, he’s dating you just for your looks. At this stage in the game, you deserve better.
“I don’t know what that’s important.” It doesn’t matter what “that” is — if it’s something you bring up, it obviously has importance of some sort. Maybe it’s the fact that he never picks up after himself. Or, maybe he’s been really delayed with paying bills and you have to be the one to bring it up. It’s immature to push away responsibilities and it’s equally immature not to factor in your feelings. Never be with a guy who makes you feel like your concerns don’t matter.
“Whatever.” Oh, the big W. It’s so easy to shoot out a “whatever” when arguing with our partners, but the truth of the matter is that this word should have left our vocabulary after graduating high school. It’s the biggest write-off of all time and really shows how much maturity your boyfriend lacks.
“Your nudes are my property.” These days, it’s pretty common to send nudes — and even though you should never be forced, you may send them without thinking of the consequences. If your guy threatens to spread them around or admits that he looks at them in front of other people, it’s a huge invasion of privacy. Any guy who thinks that those photos are his “property” also thinks you’re his property and is too immature to think about your feelings. Whenever you send content like that, remember that you’re putting a lot of trust into the receiver.