Is He A Selfish Boyfriend? 12 Signs You’re Dating A Guy Who Puts Himself First

You might be in the honeymoon phase now, but when it comes to an end, you should be with someone who’s going to put in real effort to make your relationship a success. If you can already see signs that your partner is selfish, be warned – he could end up destroying your relationship and denting your happiness. Is your boyfriend always making himself number one? Is he way too self-centered to get involved with? Here are 12 signs he’s a selfish boyfriend.

He’s all about himself.

This guy is a walking advertisement for himself. He loves talking about the great way he helped his friend, the career promotion he achieved at work, and how much he works out to stay fit. After a while, it will feel like he never actually listens to what you have to say without wanting to jump into the conversation to share something about himself.

He answers on your behalf.

Does he decide what you’ll both order for drinks or dinner? Does he talk over you in public, like by answering questions on your behalf when someone asks you what you do for a living? It’s like he’s silencing you. While this behavior might seem acceptable or even charming at first – you might think he knows you so much, it’s sweet – it’s a big red flag that you’re dealing with a selfish guy.

He steamrolls over your opinions.

A selfish guy is someone who isn’t just obsessed with himself but wants you to do and think in the same way he does. He’s controlling. So, when you express how you’d love to go hiking, he’ll tell you why that’s a bad idea. Similarly, when you express how you want to change careers, he’ll mansplain about what he thinks you should do.

He expects you to compromise.

This is one of the biggest signs of a selfish boyfriend. Without compromise, a relationship can’t survive. You’re not always going to see eye to eye or want the same things, so it’s important to reach out and work on the relationship. A selfish guy won’t compromise to accommodate you. So, you’ll be the one shifting around your schedule, trying to bend over backward to make him happy. Ugh. He might even make you feel guilted into doing what he wants.

He becomes your world.

Does it feel like you’re always making him a priority but he doesn’t do the same thing for you? This isn’t just about compromise. It’s like he expects that you’ll make your relationship with him the number-one priority in your life. If you have to do something outside of the relationship, such as by spending time with your besties, he’ll sulk or act like you’re betraying him. He wants to become your everything, but he does what he wants.

He goes under the radar.

If he’s always there for you when you’re having a good time but then he doesn’t show up when you really need him, like when you’re stuck on the side of the road with a flat tire or your best friend’s in the hospital, that’s not enough. A selfish guy will only do things that make him feel good and when he can gain something from it. He’s not going to be supportive if there’s nothing in it for him.

He’s got secret motives.

Linked to the above point, this guy has secret agendas for why he does things. If he’s done something to upset you, suddenly he’ll become super-attentive and buy you your favorite flowers as a gift. When he feels you slipping away, he’ll become the most charming guy you’ve ever met. Hmmm.

He makes you feel you’re not good enough.

A selfish guy who only thinks about himself might expect you to jump through fire-covered hoops in order to be worth his time. So, he’ll want you to meet all his grand expectations. When you don’t, you’ll feel like you’re not good enough. Meanwhile, you should stop and ask yourself if he’s meeting your demands and needs. He’s probably not.

He doesn’t register your emotions.

Have you ever tried to tell your boyfriend something emotional about yourself only to receive a blank stare from him? He doesn’t offer emotional support. Again, this is because of how he only feels for himself. When you tell him how sad/stressed/frustrated you are, he might just ignore it, look bored, or ask you why you’re being so dramatic. It can break you because it makes you feel like you just don’t matter to him.

He’s like an examiner, not a boyfriend.

If it sometimes feels like your boyfriend studies and examines everything in your life and is highly critical of it, it’s a sign that he wants your time to belong to him and his opinions are the only ones that matter. For example, he might criticize your career, friends, or family members. He always knows better, but he acts like he cares about you. So, he might say he doesn’t like how your BFF takes advantage of you, but he really doesn’t want you to spend time with her instead of him. This is another of those big signs he’s a selfish boyfriend.

He’s clueless about your needs.

A selfish guy won’t think about pleasing you or what you need from the relationship. He’ll ignore this or not even notice when you mention what you need to be happy. This is the case both inside and outside of the bedroom – it’s all about what he needs and wants.

He threatens to hit the exit.

When you and your partner have a big fight, instead of working through the issues that have surfaced he’ll threaten to break up with you. He’s dramatic and wants to scare you so that you chase him or compromise more to make things work. This is a sign that you’re dealing with someone who throws a fit whenever he doesn’t get his way. What, are you dating a toddler? It sure feels like it.

The signs of a selfish boyfriend aren’t always easy to spot, but the sooner you recognize them, the sooner you can deal with them. Don’t get caught out with a guy who will never love you the way you deserve to be loved.

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