Is He Intimidated By Me Or Just Not Interested? Here’s How To Tell

Nervousness and disinterest often show up in the same ways. A guy who likes you but feels too intimidated to show it, and a guy who doesn’t like you at all, might share a lot of the same behaviors. Telling them apart can be tricky, but luckily, there are quite a few differences between them to look out for. Here are 10 ways to tell whether he’s intimidated by you or just not interested.

  1. He feels intimidated if he tries to impress you. A guy or girl who doesn’t like you won’t try to impress you. Why would they bother? When someone really goes out of their way trying to get you to notice them, or trying to get you to like them, it’s pretty clear that they’re at least a little interested in you. And if he feels intimidated, he’ll value your opinion and want you to think the best of him.
  2. He’s not interested if he never responds to your messages. If a guy likes you, he’ll naturally want to communicate with you. Even if he is a little intimidated, he still won’t pass up the opportunity to get to know you better. So it’s an obvious sign that he’s not that into you if he never responds to your messages, calls, Snapchats, or any chance you give him to communicate with you.
  3. He feels intimidated if he’s quiet around you but enthusiastic over text. Quietness isn’t necessarily a sign that a guy isn’t interested in you. He might just be a shy person, or shy when it comes to dating. It’s also possible that he feels intimidated by you personally and doesn’t want to risk making a fool of himself by saying the wrong thing. This is especially true when he is much more talkative over text or social media. That way, he can think carefully about what he wants to say to you.
  4. He’s not interested if he’s never available to catch up. No matter how intimidated a guy is, he’ll still want to see you if he likes you. He might be super nervous during the actual date, but he’ll make seeing you one of his highest priorities. Wouldn’t you if you liked someone? On the other hand, a guy who is never available to catch up, regardless of how many times you ask, probably isn’t that interested. “Busy” is often just code for not that into you.
  5. He feels intimidated if he doesn’t make eye contact but stares when you’re not looking. You can tell quite a bit about someone by their body language and eye contact. If a guy never makes eye contact with you but does often stare at you when he thinks you’re not looking, there’s a chance that he likes you. At the very least, he’s curious about you. It can take a surprising amount of confidence to make eye contact with someone, so it’s understandable that intimidated guys tend not to do this.
  6. He’s not interested if he always flirts with other people. Purposefully flirting with someone else to make a guy o girl jealous is one of the oldest tricks in the book when you’re playing hard to get. But make sure you know the difference between playing hard to get and generally not caring. You’ll know that a guy falls into the latter category if he is always flirting with others, whether you’re there or not, and by contrast, pays you no attention.
  7. He feels intimidated if he seems nervous around you. Nervousness is one of the biggest signs of intimidation. Dating is nerve-wracking at the best of times. According to Women Now, if he seems especially nervous around you, it could be that he just feels super intimidated. Look out for the classic signs of nervousness. These include fidgeting, blushing, talking too much, and hunching the shoulders up by the ears.
  8. He’s not interested if he doesn’t pay you attention on social media. Disclaimer: this doesn’t apply if he’s not a social media person in general. But if he does use social media as much as everyone else uses it, and he never uses it to get closer to you, it could be a sign that he just doesn’t like you. There are so many chances to engage with someone you’re into on social media. You can comment, like, follow, direct message, and so much more. If he’s not taking advantage of any of those, but he is otherwise active on social media, there’s probably a reason for that.
  9. He feels intimidated if he shows he likes you without asking you out. Asking someone out isn’t the only guaranteed sign of romantic interest. It can be very daunting to ask a person out. So if he is showing other signs of liking you, place importance on those instead. Always texting you, remembering small details about you, and subtly staring at you are all signs that he might secretly like you.
  10. He’s not interested if he doesn’t notice when you change your appearance. If you’ve ever liked someone, you’ll know this to be true. When you do have feelings for another person, you notice the small details about them. If you change your appearance and he doesn’t notice or doesn’t remember any of the little details you tell him, it’s a sign he’s not really paying attention. And from that, you can assume that you’re not exactly the apple of his eye.
Vanessa Locampo is an Aussie writer who’s equally obsessed with YA fiction and pasta. Her time is divided between writing all the things, reading all the things, listening to Queen, and bopping her cat on the nose. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing and has written for sites including and Discovering Montana, and currently works as an editor at Glam. You can keep up with her on Instagram @vanessaellewrites.