Texting has made communicating a lot easier and more convenient, but it’s also made dating a lot less personal. You probably have full conversations over text – we all do – but when it comes to romantic relationships, it can be a pain in the ass. Guys will rarely call to set up a date, and if you want to cancel, it’s a hell of a lot easier to send a quick, “Sorry, can’t make it!” text and not bother explaining yourself. “Ghosting” has become a legitimate way to not only convey your disinterest, but to actually break up with someone. There are some circumstances (like you’ve been together for years) where ghosting is completely unacceptable, but there are others where just going radio silent is a lot more appealing than getting into the details.
- You’ve already told him you aren’t interested. If you were nice enough to tell him you weren’t interested in him in that way and he keeps trying, there comes a point where your best strategy is complete silence. Clearly he doesn’t care what you want, so trying to explain it to him for the 50th time would be a waste of energy.
- You’ve only been on one date. Of course, sending a quick, “Thanks for the date, but I don’t see this going anywhere” text is the polite thing to do. But if you only went out once, you don’t owe him any further explanation, no matter how persistent he is.
- He was a complete loser on that first date. Sometimes it can be tempting to let loose on a guy who acts like a total douche bag. But you know he’s going to have a response to everything you say, and it’s going to be infuriating. Save yourself the headache and just ignore his request for a second date. He’ll get the message.
- He says something rude. For example, if he sends you a surprise penis pic and he’s confused about why you aren’t responding, he doesn’t even deserve a response. Going silent and letting him worry you were horrified by the sight of his penis says it all.
- You’ve never actually met. You might have given him your number when you thought he had date potential, but if further texts reveal that he isn’t who you thought he was, the best course of action is usually to stop responding. He’ll chock it up to another online date that didn’t pan out, and you’ll both move on without much hassle.
- Life happens. Maybe you went on a pretty good first date, but some unexpected things come up after and you just don’t have the energy to deal with dating. There’s no harm in being honest about that, but it’s also understandable if you’re so distracted that you just kind of fade out sans explanation. It happens to everyone.
- You just wanted a one night stand. This is especially true if you didn’t even give him your number, but he managed to ask around and obtain it anyway, or he stalked social media and found your Instagram profile. If you aren’t interested in taking it any further, there’s no reason to respond, and hopefully he takes that as a sign.
- You find out he’s not actually single. Chances are if you ask him about it, he’ll lie anyway, so why bother? Ghosting is completely justified when he’s a cheater who doesn’t deserve to be acknowledged.
- If you have nothing nice to say… Then don’t say anything at all. You wouldn’t want someone pointing our all your flaws, would you? If you can’t manage a civil “thanks, but no thanks,” then just keep your mouth shut.