If He Isn’t Crazy About You From The Start, Drop Him

Long-lasting love may take time to develop, but chemistry between two people is usually immediate — or at least it should be. You don’t want to waste time going on dates with a guy who expects you to play games to garner his interest or whose feelings for or about you are tepid at best. You want a guy who’s crazy about you from the start. If he’s not, drop him and move on to one who is.

  1. You’re amazing — shouldn’t he realize that right away? Seriously, think about it. You meet this guy and have dinner together and he seems into it… kind of? You start thinking that maybe he just needs time to get to know you to be crazy about you, but screw that — you’re incredible, and that should be noticeable right away.
  2. You’re missing out on someone who’ll see you for the queen you are. You could get wrapped up in playing hard to get, thinking that engaging in a cat and mouse game will make him like you more, but what’s the point? There’s a guy out there who will like you without you having to play games, and that’s that kind of relationship you really want.
  3. Maybe he wants a challenge, not you. He doesn’t seem all that interested in you but you’re sure you can change his mind. Maybe you start waiting a while to respond to any texts or try to act like you aren’t interested in him because reverse psychology totally works, right? Maybe for some people, but how long does the relationship even last? If he isn’t into you from the get-go, why try to con him into it? Naturally, he’ll probably be up for a challenge, but he’s not really into you.
  4. Pretending to be someone you’re not will always backfire in the end. Why try to put off texting him or pretend to care about stuff you hate just because he likes it? Why try to be someone you’re not just to get him to like you? If he did end up liking you when you tried so hard to be someone else, he seriously isn’t into you; he’s into the person you pretended to be. That’d be exhausting as hell and in the end, downright disastrous.
  5. You should value yourself enough to only invest time and energy on guys who see that value. If you have any amount of self-respect and self-worth — and you really should have a strong sense of both before even thinking about getting into a relationship — then you’re better off leaving him behind.
  6. Games are for kids, and you’re a grown-ass woman. This isn’t middle school and you’re not on the playground. You’re both mature adults — or at least you should be — so if there’s a connection between you, it should be straightforward and immediate. If not, you’re better off cutting your losses now. Sticking around and playing games in the hopes that something will change and he’ll suddenly realize just how wonderful you are and how much he’s into you is stupid — and you’re not stupid, right?
  7. You have better things to do with your time. Imagine what you could be doing with all the time you’ve been wasting on a guy who isn’t straight up crazy about you from the beginning. If you’re looking for love, you certainly could be doing it in a more productive way, that’s for sure. Mr. Right could have slipped right by because you were too busy being caught up on a guy who clearly isn’t the one for you.
  8. Chemistry can’t be forced. Sure, maybe he’ll warm up to you enough to lazily keep dating you for a while and dragging out the inevitable ending, but is that really what you want — a guy whose heart isn’t really in it? When there’s chemistry, you know it and both of you are into it. If it’s not there, you can’t create it out of thin air.
  9. Remember that any guy would be lucky to have you. And the right guy for you will know how lucky he is and won’t do anything to screw up his chances with you. He’ll want to be with you 100% from day one because there’s something real between you and he can see things growing into something magical and amazing. If this guy’s not it, don’t worry — he’s still out there.
Heather Burdo is a freelance writer from New York. She enjoys writing about relationships, parenting, and health topics. Visit her at www.heatherburdo.com