Just Because He Does These 7 Things Doesn’t Mean He’s Cheating

Just Because He Does These 7 Things Doesn’t Mean He’s Cheating ©iStock/wundervisuals

You’ve been getting the strange feeling that something is up with your boyfriend and he’s cheating on you. Maybe you’ve even spotted some of the cliche cheating signs. Before you go crazy and confront him, bear in mind that not all of the signs immediately mean he’s a lying dirtbag — particularly these:

  1. He’s got a female best friend. OK, it can be weird to think of your guy hanging out with another woman, but who says men and women can’t be platonic? Unless there’s romantic history between them or he doesn’t let you meet her, there’s really no harm in him having female friends. You have male friends you love spending time with but wouldn’t dream of taking things further with, right?
  2. He “liked” a woman’s pic on Facebook. You’re scrolling through the newsfeed when you see your boyfriend has liked some hot woman’s picture. If it’s happening all the time and the pics aren’t PG-rated, then this should make you wonder. But if it’s something normal, like a picture of his female acquaintance holding her cute dog, and doesn’t happen often, it’s no biggie.
  3. He looks at other women. You’re having dinner at a restaurant when a gorgeous woman walks in and takes a seat at the table behind you. Next thing you know, your boyfriend’s eyes keep going to her table. It’s frustrating, but it really doesn’t mean that he’d want to be with her. It’s the equivalent of him looking at a woman in a magazine. She’s just a pretty face that he’s allowed to notice and nothing you should be getting bent out of shape about.
  4. He’s vague about his day. You’re chatting to your boyfriend and ask him what he did all day. He doesn’t really give away much, which might make alarms sound in your head, but maybe there really wasn’t much for him to say. If he’s generally vague about his day and life, or there are times when he goes AWOL and doesn’t respond to your texts, then that should make you worry.
  5. He wants to score some space. Having some time to do stuff on his own or having the place to himself for a day or two doesn’t mean that your boyfriend is cheating on you. You think that the minute you leave some other woman will be paying him a visit, but it really doesn’t have to be that way. He probably just wants to chill in front of the TV in his ratty underwear and be able to burp and fart in peace.
  6. He’s working a lot more/later than usual. OK, this is one of the classic cheating signs: a guy tells his GF he’s working late again and then heads over to his other woman’s apartment. But if your guy is really busy, you don’t need to assume he’s cheating on you. Of course, if he’s a stand-up boyfriend, he’ll open up about his work and share what’s going on while making up the time lost with you, which should put you at ease.
  7. He’s got a new female friend. What’s worse than your boyfriend hanging out with female friends he’s had for years that are more like sisters? When he’s spending time with a woman who’s new on the scene. Perhaps they share the same hobby or they work together (yes, you’ve looked her up on social media). It really doesn’t mean that he’s going to want her just because she’s there. If he’s mentioned her a few times, ask if you can meet her and see what he says. If he’s not doing anything dodgy, or thinking about doing something dodgy, he’ll be totally cool with a double-date setup or inviting you along.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.