Just Because You Want Love Doesn’t Mean You’re Desperate

These days, people act like being single and wanting to fall in love are mutually exclusive, but that’s not always true. You can absolutely be on your own while searching for the right guy for you. Don’t let anyone tell you that wanting love is desperate, because it’s the furthest thing from it. Here’s why:

  1. You’re amazing deserve love. There’s a massive difference between needing love and wanting it. While there’s nothing wrong with either one of those, you do deserve love. You’re the best and should meet someone who totally gets that (and is pretty awesome himself, of course).
  2. You don’t have to stay single forever. Being solo is not a badge of honor. It’s not a gold medal or proof that you’re stronger than all those so-called weak women in relationships. You’re single right now for tons of reasons, from how hard it is to connect with someone to the mess that modern dating has become. But you don’t need to stay on your own for the rest of your life. Why not try your best to find love?
  3. You know how great love can be, so of course you want it. You’ve been in love before, and so it totally makes sense that you would want to experience that again. It’s not like it was the worst thing ever. It was pretty amazing (while it lasted). Maybe next time it’ll actually stick.
  4. You’re not weak for wanting to share your life with someone. You’re still a strong woman if you want to meet a guy that you can share your life with. That two things don’t cancel each other out. You’re not going to become some damsel in distress who can’t do anything. You’re still going to be you… just with a boyfriend. No big deal.
  5. You’ve learned from your mistakes and you won’t make them again. Back when you fell in love for the first time, you acted a bit too starry-eyed. You wanted to be with your first boyfriend 24/7 and didn’t know how to separate yourself from him. The concept of living your own life wasn’t really in your worldview yet. But now you’re older, and you know how not to act. There’s no reason why you can’t find love knowing all that you know now.
  6. You’re human, and humans crave companionship. You’re not the only single woman who wants to find a relationship sometime soon. Take comfort in the fact that you’re part of this community full of women who know that strength and love can work well together.
  7. You’ve lived the single life and you’re kinda over it. You’ve gone on tons of first dates, spent evenings alone watching Netflix, gossiped to your girlfriends about all the weird things guys have said to you. You’ve been there, done that. It’s okay if you want to move on to the next, hopefully coupled-up stage of your life.
  8. You have no reason not to find love. You’re smart, funny, interesting, and pretty much every positive adjective under the sun. You literally have no reason not to find love. Remember that every day. It’s easy to think that your life is so amazing as it is, you don’t need to add a boyfriend to the mix. But why not have everything that you ever wanted? You don’t need to hold yourself back or think that your dreams don’t matter. They do.
  9. You’re already almost there — why not keep going? If you’ve been putting yourself out there, going on dates, meeting people, figuring out who you want to be with, and learning more about yourself all the time, then you’re on the right track. You’re already almost there in terms of finding love. You just have to keep going.
  10. You’re so ready. You’ve been through it all, from bad dates to decent-but-not-quite-there ones, to being ghosted, to doing the ghosting yourself. You’ve met jerks and dream guys and everyone in between. You’re ready to find a love that’s real this time, to meet a guy who gets you and makes everything feel super simple, and to finally have your own love story. Why not go after it?
Aya Tsintziras is a freelance lifestyle writer and editor from Toronto, Canada. In addition to writing about dating and relationships for Bolde, she also writes about movies, TV, and video games for ScreenRant and GameRant. She has a Political Science degree from the University of Toronto and a Masters of Journalism from Ryerson University. You can find her on Twitter @ayatsintziras and on Instagram @aya.tsintziras.