Looking for love is an exhausting experience — you try, you fail, you try again and fail again. There comes a point where you want to give up the search entirely, certain that you’ll never find what you’re looking for. Taking a break is fine (and sometimes much needed), but stay strong. Just because you haven’t found love yet doesn’t mean you won’t.
- Failure doesn’t determine your worth. I know it seems like sometimes there’s no point of even trying. You’ve made genuine attempts and been left disappointed time and time again. I get it — I’ve been there, too. It sucks. But you need to know that failing doesn’t mean you’re unworthy or that you’re not meant to have what you dream of. It just means it’s going to take a bit more time, and that’s OK.
- Some soldiers fight more battles than others. Some people get extremely lucky and find their love story early on, and others face more struggles and have to fight harder battles to win the war. Just because you haven’t seen victory yet doesn’t mean you should give up entirely. Giving up means succumbing to fears, and you’re not afraid of love, you’re afraid of never having it. Ending the fight before seeing it the whole way through is just an even greater loss, and you deserve more than that.
- Each experience is making you stronger. Every time you’ve tried and you’ve failed, you’ve learned something about yourself in the process. You’ve learned what you truly want, what you don’t want, and what needs are most important in the love you imagine for yourself. You’re getting stronger, smarter, and one step closer each and every time to what you’re truly looking for. Remember that.
- Giving up will only amplify your pain. Giving up completely is only going to remind you that you not only don’t have love, but that you’re even further from getting it since you’ve stopped trying all together. I know they say that “when you stop looking, it will finally find you,” but you still need to have an open heart to the idea, and you just won’t emit that openness the same if you’ve closed off on the idea entirely.
- Don’t let the douchebags get you down. Yes, there might be some jerks in your past that’ve made you feel small. There may have been some breakups that left you with insurmountable pain. The truth is that surviving those experiences means exactly that — you survived. There are good guys out there, they’re just harder to come by on your journey. When you find him, it’ll be worth it.
- Comparison is the thief of joy. When you’re ready to give up on love, you can’t help but look around you at other happy couples and berate yourself, thinking you’ll never have the same thing. Stop that right now. Don’t compare your journey to anyone else’s. Don’t compare your own entire movie to everyone else’s highlight reel, and know that even when the outside world looks happier than you are right now, they’re all facing their own internal battles too. Having love doesn’t solve all of life’s problems.
- What’s meant for you will finally make sense once you get there. Think about all of the battles you’ve faced in your life as a whole. How many ‘no’s did it take to get where you are today? Probably a lot. Love is no different. It sucks right now, but eventually the yes you’ve been waiting for will finally make sense. You’ll look back on the struggle and laugh because it will have been completely worth every tear you shed.
- Your story is still being written. Being without love and being single isn’t just a lack of relationship status. It’s a life where the possibilities are still endless. Each day is a page waiting to be written. It might be lonely at times, and some days you might want to give up entirely but being without love right now is something you should look at as living in a state of constant excitement that your forever story has yet to begin. And that’s pretty amazing.
