Just Because You’re Terrible At Dating Doesn’t Mean You’ll End Up Alone

Just Because You’re Terrible At Dating Doesn’t Mean You’ll End Up Alone ©iStock/themacx

There can be a lot of pressure when it comes to dating, whether it’s pressure we put on ourselves or comes from the guy you’re meeting. It’s not surprising that sometimes it feels more serious than it needs to be, but the thing is, being terrible at dating doesn’t mean you’re going to end up alone. In other words, don’t sweat it.

  1. There’s no way to learn besides just doing it. Certainly some people are born better daters than others, but no matter how much advice you’ve been given along the way, you really can’t learn it for yourself without doing it. If you feel like you’re bad at it, maybe you just have some different lessons to learn than other people, which is fine.
  2. You’re probably not as terrible as you think you are. Keep in mind that even if you feel like a blubbering fool on a first date, you probably don’t appear that way to your date. For all you know, he’s going through the exact same thing and worrying about his own choice of words and sweaty palms, not yours.
  3. Being terrible at dating won’t keep you single. If you’re going to meet a guy that likes you for you, then he certainly won’t have an issue with you not being a master at dating. People who care about you are going to accept wherever you are on your learning curve.
  4. Dating is totally unpredictable. Even if you were the most prepared and poised dater on the planet, you couldn’t possibly anticipate some of the weirdness you’ll encounter. The concept of meeting up with relative strangers to assess each other romantically is a weird concept in and of itself. How could that possibly go smoothly all the time?
  5. You get to learn a lot. Sometimes we shy away from complicated situations because they can be pretty hard to deal with. Realistically, however, a lot of life is just about learning and moving forward, so the more opportunities we get to do so, the better. It’s a pretty great feeling to go from being terrified of something to realizing that it’s not so bad after all.
  6. Everyone has their regrettable moments. If you’re not a terrible person in general, you probably aren’t too terrible of a dater, even if you stick your foot in your mouth from time to time. Keep in mind that people do that all the time and you’re not alone. You don’t necessarily judge someone’s entire worth on one mishap or awkward moment.
  7. There aren’t any real rules. There are some general guidelines when it comes to being a reasonable person and being fair as a dater, but there aren’t actually any set rules. What you might consider to be a terrible dating quality might just be a part of who you are, and if so, then it’s just something to accept and keep moving forward.
  8. Bad dates are sort of funny. Well, sometimes. Maybe not in the moment, but seriously having some horrible date stories in your arsenal doesn’t make you sound like a flawed person — it makes it sound like you know how to find humor in real life circumstances, which means you’re awesome.
Kate Ferguson is a Los Angeles local and freelance writer for a variety of blog and magazine genres. When she's not writing, the UC Davis graduate is focused on pursuits of the entertainment industry, spin class, and hot sauce. Look for article links, updates, (and the occasional joke) on Twitter @KateFerg or @WriterKateFerg, or check out her personal blog ThatsRandomKate.blogspot.com