We’ve all been victims of being left on read at some point and have suffered the inevitable meltdown that follows. I turned my read receipts off a while back to avoid a guy thinking I didn’t like him if I was too busy to reply right away or just didn’t feel like it. I turned them back on after a few months, though, and that turned out to be a way better decision for my dating life.
It’s a very subtle way of playing hard to get. If a guy texts me and I read it and reply but not immediately, it tells him that he’s a priority but not my only one. I think it definitely gets his gears turning about what I’m doing and who else I might be talking to. What I’m trying to accomplish here is silently communicating to them that while I’m always happy to talk, I have a life outside of my romantic relationships. I have other things that keep me busy and I’m not always willing to drop everything I’m doing at that moment just to reply to a text.
It’s a great way to establish confidence maybe before the relationship even begins. No one unknowingly has read receipts on, so if a guy knows that I’m totally aware that he can see them, it shows him that I’m not tripping all over myself to impress him. Insecure women can be constantly worried about upsetting people with the tiniest actions. Independent women are excited about the relationship but want the other person to know that they’re not needy or clingy.
It takes so much pressure off. If I’m not worried about a guy seeing my read receipts, I can simply go about my day and text him whenever I feel like it. As women, we’re so used to being the ones to text again and again when we don’t get an immediate response. Then it can get even worse when we try to backpedal on what we said, thinking we offended the other person. When I stopped caring that my read receipts were on, I stopped caring about all of the stress that comes along with it.
It’s not the same thing as ignoring someone. It may seem like it’s some sort of mean game but trust me, it’s far from it. I’ve been played enough by stupid guys—I’m not about to do the same thing back because I know two wrongs definitely don’t make a right. I always eventually reply. I don’t even wait a long time on purpose—I just reply when it’s convenient for me. It’s a power move, not a mind game. Good things come to those who wait.
It’s not to be mistaken with rudeness. If I waited three hours to respond to a guy’s text then gave him some unenthusiastic one-word reply or said something snarky or conceited, that would be wrong. When I respond to a text, I do it the same way I would in a normal face-to-face conversation. I take the time to type out an actual answer. I use punctuation and emojis (to let them know I care, of course). Being busy and in high demand is vastly different than being unkind. Make sure not to get the two confused.
Power is a definite perk. OK, I’d be lying if I said it didn’t feel good to get that coveted double text from a guy if it’s been a few minutes and I haven’t replied yet. Not only is it fun to be chased, it solidifies my belief that this guy is really interested in me and wants to talk to me. If he didn’t like you at least a little, he wouldn’t be trying so hard to keep the conversation going.
I’m not glued to my phone 24/7 and it’s refreshing. In the past, in those first stages of talking to a guy, my phone would be in my hand round the clock and I’d constantly be looking down, willing the guy to text me, which caused me to be disengaged from whoever I was physically with. Now that it’s not something I worry about anymore, I can fully exist in the current moment with a clear head. It’s invigorating.
I don’t feel the need to let them know when I’m going to be MIA for a little while. Unless I’m right in the middle of a conversation with a guy, I don’t feel obligated to let him know it’s going to be a few hours before I respond because I’m about to go somewhere where I can’t use my phone. They should trust that I’m in the middle of something and will get back to them as soon as I get a chance and I shouldn’t feel the need to find a way to check my phone at a totally inconvenient place like the gym or in a movie theater. If the person you’re talking to gets angry if you’re unreachable for an hour or two, I would call that a red flag.
It’s not reserved just for romantic partners. I didn’t turn my read receipts back on just because of guys. I turned them back on because I was tired in general of feeling guilty for not immediately replying to anyone. Sometimes friends can be just as bad as romantic partners with the constant need for immediate response. Once you let go of the burden of caring what people think, trust me, your life will improve.
I’ve actually gained more respect from guys. Like I said before, I think it sends a strong message but more importantly, it just feels good. Once I stopped letting it stress me out, it boosted my confidence, which in turn earned me more respect from guys as well as friends and coworkers. A strong woman always looks amazing.
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