What It’s Like To Finally Date A Guy Who Has His Act Together

Finding a guy who actually has his act together sometimes feels as rare as seeing Jon Snow smile — it certainly doesn’t happen often, but it’s super gratifying when it does. So when you realize you’re dating such a mythical creature, you should really try to keep him. After dating a string of immature boys, dating a real man who handles his business will be a breath of fresh air.

  1. You actually get to feel like his girlfriend instead of his mom. Life is just easier when you’re dating a grown man. You don’t need to worry if your guy will remember that you have a date tonight. You won’t need to remind him that openly flirting with other chicks on Instagram when you follow each other is a crap move. The guy who has his act together will understand the concept of respect, and he’ll openly shower you with it.
  2. He’ll be humble, yet confident. A narcissistic man-child thinks he knows everything but is cloaked in enough self-loathing to make him act like a punk. A guy with his act together is exactly the opposite. He knows that there’s always something new to learn and plenty of self-growth to be done. He’s completely aware of what he has to offer the world without treating you like you’re lucky to hold any of his attention.
  3. Your feelings will matter, for once. Your feelings should always matter, but unfortunately, boys are just not capable of appreciating your full range of emotions. They can handle like, three, and anything beyond that will be too intense for them. A guy with his act together, however, will have zero qualms about witnessing your emotions or offering support when needed.
  4. Those feelings won’t scare him off. Grown men don’t get scared off by emotions. They’ve lived, and they’re wise, and they also understand that every human being – regardless of gender – has a full range of emotions that should never be judged or ridiculed. Every person’s feelings are valid, and they get that. Isn’t it refreshing to know that you’re totally safe to have your bi-monthly meltdown without worrying that your boyfriend will think you’re having a psychotic break?
  5. You’ll go on actual dates. Players love inviting you over to their place and getting takeout, followed by the inevitable hookup. Is that a date, though? Nope. It’s fine every once in a while, but it shouldn’t be an every-date occurrence. A real man will take you to a nice dinner, be attentive when you’re speaking, and make you feel like there’s nowhere else they’d rather be.
  6. He won’t be intimidated by your success, A guy with his act together has a career that he’s proud of and is fascinated to hear about yours. Your success won’t freak him out or make him feel emasculated because he actually likes the idea of a partnership with two brilliant bosses, not just one breadwinner.
  7. He’ll have basic manners. This should be a given, right? Sadly, dudes with manners are like unicorns in 2016. But a grown man will chew with his mouth closed, hold doors open for others and say “please” and “thank you” – all without you prompting or reminding him to do so.
  8. He’ll own up to his mistakes. Boys blame others for their screw-ups – and might even attempt to blame you. Men take ownership and readily apologize. They don’t let fear of repercussions stop them from saying sorry because they know it’s the right thing to do if they’ve done something wrong.
  9. He’ll do things for you without you having to ask. Can you imagine dating a guy who brings over your favorite wine after you only mentioned it once? Or a guy who will take your dog outside to pee when you’ve fallen asleep on the couch? These are things guys who have their act together do without you having to ask. They pay attention and enjoy meeting your needs.
  10. You’ll never have to be his alarm clock, his calendar or his personal assistant. When you’re with a grown ass man, you’ll never again have to worry about whether or not he’ll get himself up on time to go to work, whether he knows how to do laundry or how much of his furniture was pulled in from the sidewalk. Guys with their act together have their act together.
  11. He’ll happily make your pleasure his priority. The best thing about dating a guy who has his act together, by far, is the sex. It’s not rushed or selfish. He takes the time to learn your body, and he uses that information to make sure you get off every single time. He isn’t squeamish or weird about going down on you because he likes it and wants to do something to make you happy.
is a freelance writer for Bustle and Petcha, and editor for Wise Bread. She suffers from separation anxiety, and can't bear to be away from her dog for more than 20 minutes. Her dog doesn't seem to care either way. Sweater season is her favorite season.