Be On The Lookout For These 13 Subtle Signs He’s Only In It For The Sex

You might think that just because he’s moving a bit too fast or seems a little too eager to invite you over to his place, it means he’s looking for a girlfriend instead of a single night of fun. But are you really sure? If he’s showing these signs, he’s probably only looking to get laid:

  1. You have sex all the time. What’s wrong with that, you ask? Well, if all your dates end with you naked in his bed, there’s a problem. If he was BF material, he’d be keen to show you a good time outside of the bedroom sometimes too, because he’d be looking for a physical and emotional connection. Make sure he’s not trying to “buy” his way into an easy orgasm by taking you out on dates.
  2. All your dates go down at nightHe won’t meet you for lunch on a Saturday, but he’ll want to hook up at night. It seems to happen this way a lot. Honestly, unless the guy’s a vampire, you should realize that it’s just about him wanting sex. It’s even more telling if he calls you up late at night asking you to come over without even pretending like he wants to do something non-sexual.
  3. He doesn’t chat about his life. When you try to engage with him about his life and friends, he changes the subject or just gives you minimal info. He’s not interested in sharing his life with you because it’s too much of an investment, and he’s not looking for that.
  4. Your conversation turns sexual really quickly. When you text him about his day or job, he’s quick to turn the conversation onto other things by trying to flirt with you or bringing up sexual topics. It becomes tiring after a while.
  5. He only texts or emails. He is a fan of sending you regular emails or texts, but he never picks up the phone to call you. It feels really impersonal at times, but since he messages you regularly, you might think it’s probably just his preferred choice of communication. If he was really into you, though, he’d be taking your communication to a new level with phone calls.
  6. He’s fond of spontaneous dates. It’s not unusual for him to text you out of the blue, saying something like, “Hey, am in your neck of the woods. Wanna grab a drink?” causing you to rush to meet him. But he’s never actually making an effort to book you for a date ahead of time. He just wants what’s convenient for him when he’s up for conversation and hooking up. Planning even a little bit into the future is a waste of time for him since he doesn’t know when he’ll get bored with you.
  7. He takes you to the same places. You might see it as romantic to keep going to the same restaurant — he might even call it “your place” — but it could really be that he’s keen to keep you on one side of town where you’re unlikely to bump into the other women he’s sleeping with.
  8. He says he’s not ready, “but…” What’s worse than the guy who tells you he’s not looking for a committed relationship? The guy who says, “I’m not ready now, but maybe someday.” You might read that as him saying it could be you who changes his mind, but don’t fool yourself. He’s really just giving you a bit of hope so that you stick around as his booty call for a bit longer.
  9. He shuts down your efforts to have a real date. After a while of going to his place for dinner and sex, you might want to do something different, like go outside in the real world. You know, that place with restaurants, bookstores, and clubs? But whenever you invite him out to a place where you won’t be having sex, he ignores your text or comes up with an excuse for why he can’t see you.
  10. He’s all talk. He tells you how much he wants to see you again after a really good date, but then he takes ages to invite you out again. WTF? He hopes to keep you hanging with how much he claims to like you so that when it’s convenient for him to invite you out, you’re more likely to go. What a player.
  11. His game is lame. He should be making an effort to have you as his girlfriend. For instance, when he compliments you, he should be showing you that he really notices what you’re about. Instead, he charms you with generic compliments because he’s making a half-assed effort with you. That’s a sure sign he’s just looking for something easy and casual. So if he constantly tells you that you’ve got the most beautiful eyes he’s ever seen, roll them at him. He can do better.
  12. He’s in a rush to meet you in RL. You “met” and chatted for a short time online, and it’s already going too slowly for him. He wants to take things further by meeting you in real life ASAP. Whoa. A guy who’s into having something real with you will take his time and pace things instead of rushing in like a fool.
  13. He asks for your pics. You’ve gone on two dates and he’s already asking you for dirty pics. You might think that he means it when he says he’s just asking because you’re so beautiful and/or he feels comfortable to do this with you so early on, but don’t buy it. The guy is just looking to get his rocks off by sending you a creepy text.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.