Everyone worries about their looks sometimes. But for some guys, those insecurities run deep, affecting their relationships, happiness, and how they move through the world. If you recognize these behaviors in your partner, a friend, or (let’s be honest) even yourself, it might be time for some honest self-reflection.
1. They constantly compare themselves to other men.
Whether it’s their buddies, celebrities, or random dudes on Instagram, the comparison game is a sign of insecurity, notes Dan Bolton, LMHC. Instead of focusing on their own strengths, they get caught up in how they measure up to literally everyone else. Notice how often they bring up other men’s looks – it might be more often than you think!
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2. They make negative comments about their own looks.
Self-deprecating jokes along the lines of “Do these jeans make my butt look huge?” or “My hairline is receding faster than the economy…” show their own inner critic is working overtime. A little lighthearted self-teasing is normal, but constant negativity points to deeper dissatisfaction.
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3. They spend excessive amounts of time working out or obsessing over diet.
While staying fit is healthy, if the gym becomes an obsession driven by fear of being too flabby or not muscular enough, it’s likely a body image issue, Everyday Health explains. There’s a difference between pursuing fitness goals and punishing yourself for not looking like a magazine cover.
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4. They become super controlling about their appearance when getting ready.
Hours in front of the mirror, constantly tweaking their outfit, agonizing over every stray hair… this points to anxiety about how others perceive them. There’s a difference between caring about your appearance and not feeling “good enough” no matter what. Let’s face it, we all have those days, but being chronically stressed about it isn’t healthy!
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5. They lash out when you compliment other men.
Mentioning how good a friend looks in his new suit or commenting on an actor’s attractiveness turns them huffy and defensive. Feeling threatened by other guys suggests they see themselves in constant competition. A truly comfortable person can give a genuine compliment without feeling diminished.
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6. They’re always angling for reassurance about their looks.
Constantly asking “Do I look okay?” or needing validation about their outfit choices is exhausting. It shows they’re seeking external approval to fill a lack of confidence within. We all need a little ego boost sometimes, but this constant need for reassurance is draining on the people around them.
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7. They shut down any conversation about feelings or self-image.
Emotional vulnerability is hard for many men, but rigid resistance to ever talking about insecurities suggests a fear of uncovering those deeper worries. A little emotional stonewalling is understandable, but if it’s impossible to connect on a deeper level, it can hinder true intimacy.
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8. They avoid having their picture taken.
Everyone has unflattering photos, but if they dodge the camera at all costs or get super critical of every shot of themselves, it’s likely connected to larger body image struggles. The occasional awkward photo is funny, but persistent photo aversion sucks the fun out of capturing memories.
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9. They’re always bragging about their workouts.
For them, it’s more about talking about their workout routine than actually working out. They spend more time bragging about reps and protein shakes than actually putting in the work. True fitness enthusiasts let their results speak for themselves, not their endless bragging.
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10. They make “jokes” about other people’s appearance.
It’s a misguided strategy: negging someone to feel better about themselves is a clear sign of insecurity. Trying to boost your own ego by tearing someone else down is a major red flag. Real confidence lies in lifting people up, offering genuine appreciation, and leaving those petty put-downs behind.
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11. They’re always looking in the mirror.
Constant mirror checks are a dead giveaway. It’s one thing to check for spinach in your teeth, but endlessly obsessing over every hair or perceived flaw shows deep-rooted insecurity. A confident guy owns his look without needing constant external validation.
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12. They brag a lot about their material possessions.
Casually dropping hints about their expensive watch or new car isn’t subtle. Bragging about material things is a transparent attempt to compensate for a lack of self-worth and real fulfillment. It’s like they’re trying to buy confidence instead of earning it.
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13. They can’t handle any kind of criticism.
Even a lighthearted joke or the slightest critique sends them spiraling. Someone who can’t handle feedback, even when it’s constructive, reveals deep-rooted insecurity. Confidence means being secure enough to learn from constructive feedback and focus on self-improvement, not taking everything personally.
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14. They’re addicted to social media validation.
Constantly posting gym selfies and counting likes? Desperate for comments praising their looks? They’re seeking validation from the wrong source. True confidence comes from within, not from a swarm of anonymous strangers online. Research has proven that this has the opposite effect in the long run, leading to self-doubt instead of self-confidence.
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15. They’re hyper-aware of how other people see them.
Constantly preoccupied with what everyone else thinks? It’s exhausting (and a turn-off). A confident guy carries himself with ease, not trying to force himself to fit everyone else’s expectations. They make choices based on what’s true to themselves, not to impress others.
