The funny thing is, men feel insecure just as often as women do — they just go to much greater lengths to try and hide it from the world around them, to varying degrees of success. Whether or not they admit it, here’s how you know when guys are riddled with self-doubt and desperately trying to pretend otherwise.
1. All they do is brag about their so-called “achievements.”
Guys who feel insecure constantly talk about their latest win at work or a recent successful venture. They do it to mask insecurities. They often bring up their achievements in conversations, even when it doesn’t quite fit the context. It’s their way of showcasing success and coolness. Constant bragging at every available opportunity shows they have a deep need for validation and recognition.
2. They get super competitive over the smallest things.
Insecure men somehow manage to turn even the most casual activities into intense competitions. Whether it’s a friendly game of pool or an impromptu race to the car, they feel an overwhelming need to win. This isn’t just about enjoyment; it’s a quest to prove superiority. Their competitiveness can pop up in trivial situations and end up turning lighthearted moments into serious contests.
3. They avoid vulnerability like the plague.
Men dealing with insecurity have a hard time letting their guard down and letting people in. They feel that expressing their feelings or admitting their fears makes them appear weak. So, they put on a tough exterior, hiding any signs of doubt or sensitivity. This avoidance of vulnerability is their way of maintaining a facade of strength and control, even when they might be struggling internally.
4. They need constant reassurance.
Insecure men are forever looking for validation from pretty much everyone around them. They ask for opinions on their work or appearance more often than necessary. This need for constant reassurance is a way to try and quiet their inner doubts. By seeking external validation, they’re trying to affirm their worth and capabilities, which they’re obviously doubting, or else they would chill out a bit.
5. They really don’t take criticism well at all.
Insecure men tend to take criticism very personally, even when it’s constructive. Instead of using it as a way to grow and learn something new, they see it as an attack on their character. They get defensive or upset when someone gives them blunt feedback, and they struggle to separate their self-worth from the criticism. This sensitivity to critique stems from their deep-seated insecurities. It’s kinda sad, actually.
6. They dominate conversations and never give anyone else a chance to speak.
Men facing insecurity issues often overcompensate by taking over conversations. They talk over people and steer discussions back to themselves, making them seem self-absorbed and inconsiderate. This behavior is an attempt to control the narrative and remain in the spotlight. It’s a way for them to feel heard and important to counter their nner feelings of inadequacy or invisibility. It rarely works, but they keep on trying…
7. They don’t know how to trust.
Trust can be a major issue for insecure men. They question everyone’s motives and doubt the sincerity of compliments and kindness. This lack of trust often comes from a fear of being vulnerable or getting hurt. Their insecurities make it hard for them to believe that others can appreciate or care for them without ulterior motives. If you’ve ever been in a relationship with a guy like this, you know how hard this can be to deal with!
8. They struggle with making decisions.
Insecure men often find it hard to just choose. The fear of making the wrong decision and facing potential judgment can be overwhelming. This indecisiveness is rooted in their insecurity because they constantly worry about other people’s opinions and reactions rather than just doing what they want to do. Sometimes they avoid making a decision altogether or defer to other people so they can avoid the responsibility and potential blame.
9. They constantly tear people down.
Men dealing with insecurity habitually criticize everyone around them. This behavior is a way to deflect attention from their own flaws, according to Verywell Mind. By pointing out everyone else’s shortcomings, they try to elevate themselves and feel more secure because everyone else is, at least in their eyes, below them. This is one of the most obvious signs of deep insecurity, but they just don’t get it.
10. They need to be in control of every single thing in life.
They insist on having things done their way and really struggle to deal with changes or unpredictability. This need for control is an attempt to create a sense of security and predictability in their lives. By controlling their environment and the people in it, they honestly believe that they can protect themselves from the doubts that trigger their insecurities.
11. They rarely admit when they’ve messed up.
Men struggling with insecurity often find it nearly impossible to admit when they’re wrong. Acknowledging mistakes feels like an exposure of their flaws, which they desperately want to hide. Instead of owning up to errors, they make excuses or blame other people. How mature. This inability to admit mistakes is a defense mechanism to preserve their self-image and avoid facing their insecurities head-on.
12. They never pursue new experiences.
Men who feel insecure often avoid trying new things because the fear of failure or looking foolish in front of others holds them back. Sticking to familiar routines and environments feels safer for them. They’re so reluctant to step out of their comfort zone because they’re desperate to protect themselves against any potential embarrassment or criticism.
13. They focus way too much on looks.
Insecure men often spend a lot of time and energy focusing on their physical appearance. Obsessing over how they look, from their hairstyle to their gym routine, can be a way to cope with feelings of inadequacy. They think that improving the way they look will compensate for their internal feelings of insecurity. Sorry, not gonna happen.
14. They never want to have deep conversations.
Deep, meaningful conversations can be challenging for insecure men, according to Simply Psychology. They steer conversations towards superficial stuff to avoid having to share more about themselves. Discussing feelings, fears, or personal dreams can feel too vulnerable, so they keep things light and avoid emotional depth. This avoidance is a protective measure to keep their insecurities hidden.
