I’ll Never Let A Boyfriend Be My Boss

I know there are plenty of benefits of being in a relationship — the late night snuggles, the emotional support, the closeness to another human being… I get it. Still, there’s something about being tied down that I don’t like — perhaps it’s the phrase itself. If a relationship means tying a great big, figurative anchor to my feet, I say screw it. My independence means more to me than any man could.

  1. My relationship status doesn’t define me. There’s so much more to my life than whether or not I happen to be dating anyone at the moment. I certainly don’t need a guy in my life to complete me or to make me feel more of a woman — I’ve got that covered all on my own. A guy or my relationship with one will never be my main purpose in life. If I meet someone, great; if I don’t, my life will go on (and still be pretty great, at that).
  2. I don’t react well to someone trying to control me. The very last thing I need is someone to tell me what to do or how to do it. It’s happened to me way too many times in relationships and it never ends well. I seriously can’t stand when someone tries to control me, no matter how subtly they try to do it. Spoiler: It won’t work and we’ll fight over who’s in control. We’ll fight so hard that we’ll end up breaking up, so what would the point be?
  3. Riding solo isn’t always a bad thing. I don’t know why some women seem to think that being single is the ultimate ordeal. They must have some serious self-esteem issues because not having to think about someone else is frickin’ awesome. Whenever I’m single, I revel in it; I do things my way and don’t have to listen to anyone else’s BS for once. Sure, I’d love to be in a great relationship one day but until that happens, I’m not depressed or upset about it.
  4. I’m a control freak. There, I said it. Perhaps this is just me, but I hate the idea of letting someone else lead the way. In the translated and slightly ad-libbed words of Ritchie Valens, I’m not a sailor, I’m the damn captain. I get that different types of relationships work for different people and that some women are happy letting their partners call the shots, but I’m not one of them.
  5. I really like who I am, single or with someone else. The point is that I’m not looking for a relationship to validate my existence or my life choices. Without sounding unbearably arrogant, I like me. I’m everything that I want to be because I’ve designed it that way. Having a man in my bed and head won’t change that one single iota, so why does it even matter?
  6. Having a boyfriend might weigh me down. As I’ve already said, being with someone can be incredible, but it can also be a burden. I’m just 26 years old and soon I’ll be 27. My life is marching on and the last thing I want is to carry pent-up resentment toward some guy who I felt was holding me back from reaching my goals. No, I don’t want a relationship — not if it means that I have to give up on being me.
  7. I might not want to stick around in the same place forever. Secret time: I’ve always dreamed of living a year or two somewhere a little sunnier and less dreary. Spain, in particular, has a certain charm I find attractive; the rich food, golden beaches, the laid-back lifestyle. Being in a relationship with someone who is needy AF might mean I have to kiss that dream goodbye.
  8. I don’t need a guy to look after me. I’m quite capable of looking after myself, thank you. I’ve gotten this far without ending up deep in debt or a ditch. I think I’m doing just fine. I don’t buy into the idea that your S.O. saves you from the unthinkable fate of — dun dun dun! — singledom. Gross. Even writing that made me feel weird.
  9. I like to make the rules as I go. I’m no expert when it comes to life; far from it. I’m the epitome of a person who’s winging it actually. I don’t necessarily think that’s a bad thing. If I had to factor someone else in, though, it just might be. There’s a certain freedom that comes with making decisions at your own whim and I’m not quite ready to trade that in for the oh-so-elusive offer of security. Not just yet, anyway.
Charlotte is a freelance writer who's addicted to binge-watching TV, drinking far too much coffee, and writing articles.