No One Stole Your Boyfriend — He Just Left

Getting dumped is painful, but being left for another woman is complete agony. Not only do you still love him and are hurt by the breakup, but you also have to suffer the thought of him with another woman. You might want to even go as far as to blame this other woman, but don’t. Why? Because she didn’t “steal” your boyfriend — he left of his own free will.

  1. You don’t own him. It’s not stealing if it’s not yours. He was completely in charge of his own life, so she didn’t steal him away. He chose to leave you or be unfaithful to you. Even though it might kill for you to face that reality, it’s the world you live in. It’s time to come to terms with the fact that your breakup wasn’t her fault — it was his.
  2. He’s the only person to blame here. So place the blame where it’s due. He’s the one that left you, not her. It was his choice and his actions, and he should be the one taking responsibility for that. There were only two people in your relationship — you and him. Leave her out of it.
  3. It was never her intention to hurt you. She may have wanted the man you loved, but she never wanted you to get hurt. She wasn’t trying to purposely cause you pain. There was no vendetta against you. She fell in love with a man, and unfortunately you were a casualty to that love, but it was really never about you. Her actions and the part she played in your breakup were only about her affection for him.
  4. You don’t really know how much she knew about you. Give her the benefit of the doubt here. You don’t know how much she knew about your situation. He might have even told her that he was single, and maybe she never even knew you existed. If he was willing to lie to you, then you can trust that he was doing the same psychological manipulation to her too.
  5. You’re better off without him. Whenever you’re thinking about being back in his arms, remember this: he doesn’t deserve you. You’re a catch, and if he couldn’t see that then it’s his loss, not yours. You deserve a man who’s head over heels for you and only you. You might not be able to see it now, but in time you’ll realize that him leaving you was truly a blessing in disguise.
  6. This was his choice to make. So don’t hold her responsible for his mistakes. Women shouldn’t be defined by the men they choose to date. That’s completely outdated logic. She can’t be blamed for his indiscretions any more than you can. He made his choice. He’s not being held captive. He picked her, and it’s finally time to realize that.
  7. Women don’t control men. As much as some women would love to think that they are in control of their boyfriends and husbands, they’re not. The men in their lives still have full power over their own free will. Think of it this way — she couldn’t make him leave you, just like you couldn’t make him stay.
  8. He was playing her, too. Even if she did know about your relationship, he was still making excuses to her about why he needed to cheat. Her mistake is simply falling for him. He made you out to be the villain, and it sucks that she went along with it, but she might have fallen for his dreamy eyes and mouth full of lies just like you did. He’s the real bad guy here.
  9. He was the one who was supposed to care about you. He was the one you had a relationship with you. He knew you and he was supposed to love you. That was his job as your boyfriend, and it wasn’t her job to make sure he treated you right. He should have been able to control his temptation, but he didn’t. He was supposed to care about you above all other women, but he didn’t. This is about him, not her.
  10. If he walked away then he was never truly “yours.” How can someone steal something that was never really yours? He set himself free, and in doing so he lost you forever. It might hurt and you might want him back, but just remember the second he walked away from you was the second he stopped being worthy of you. He wasn’t really yours and now you no longer have to consider yourself his.
  11. He’s the one who left you, not her. The fact is she didn’t con him into leaving you. There was no true manipulation. He left you because he wasn’t happy, and most likely, he won’t be happy with her either. She’s a temporary fix, but the real problem here is him. He walked out on you, not her. So you can blame her all you want, but that will never change the fact that he wasn’t stolen. He simply chose to walk away.
Kelsey Dykstra is a freelance writer based in Huntington Beach, CA. She has been blogging for over four years and writing her whole life. Originally from Michigan, this warm weather seeker relocated to the OC just last summer. She enjoys writing her own fictional pieces, reading a variety of young adult novels, binging on Netflix, and of course soaking up the sun.