Why Not Having Kids Is Something You Should Seriously Think About

Why Not Having Kids Is Something You Should Seriously Think About

A lot of people are choosing not to have children.

happy looking man, womaniStock

According to the U.S. Census Bureau, the number of childless people out there is higher than ever. While this thought might perplex any brand new mom or dad of a bouncing a baby girl or boy, the reality is that at least from a scientific perspective, not having kids is actually a good idea. Once you throw in what it means to skip having kids from a personal perspective, it makes even more sense. While I would never tell anyone to not have a child, before you do, there are definitely some things to seriously consider first.

1. To be honest, the world really doesn’t need another kid.

overpopulated world

Have you looked at the World Population Clock lately? As I write this sentence, there are currently, 8,088,528,499 people in the world and counting. By the time I finished writing that sentence, it had gone up by 50 more people. If you really think the planet is never going to run out of resources for all those people, then you’re out of your mind.

2. Kids tend to murder your intimate life.

couple in bed with kids jumping

Breaking news: This is not a myth at all. Between all that lack of sleep that comes with having kids, the lack of time to do it, and the general stress of being a parent, intimacy for people with kids tends to get wiped out. Sure, you’ll still get it on — once a month if you’re lucky, as opposed to the days when it was several times a week.

3. Kids might just make you miserable.

kids throwing a fit and pulling hair

While there’s no denying that pregnant women glow and a new parent, while exhausted, is for the most part happy, science has a brutal wake-up call. According to a 2014 Gallup study, if you’re not rich and living in an English-speaking country, you’re likely to have a “lower life evaluation” thanks to your kids. What this means is that you’re not exactly going to be a happy camper.

4. Your career will likely suffer.

Male and female colleagues looking at tablet PC. Business people are working at desk. They are sitting in textile factory.

It may be nice to think that you can “have it all,” but it’s not true for many people out there, particularly women. Unless you have a career that affords you a certain lifestyle so you can actually have it all — that house in the Hamptons, the nanny, the partner who gives just as much as you do in raising the child — you’re going to have to give something up. This isn’t some archaic thinking, but a reality. Not to mention, you’ll have to take time off for maternity or paternity leave, which isn’t guaranteed to be paid because the federal government has yet to make paid parental leave mandatory.

5. Kids can take a toll on your relationship.

couple fighting with kids

Although from an evolutionary perspective, settling down with a partner and having kids is what we’re “supposed” to do to keep the species afloat, studies have found that having a rugrat can actually wreak havoc on the satisfaction of a relationship after that first kid is born. No thanks.

6. Kids are leaving one heck of a carbon footprint.

Smiling little muddy girl looking at camera and showing palms to a photographer.

If you haven’t looked into the carbon footprint of Americans and their offspring, then you definitely need to check yourself before you wreck yourself. Studies have found that the average carbon footprint of an American is twice the size of the average person in the UK. If we look at countries like Ethiopia, our carbon footprint is 200 times the size of an average Ethiopian. In other words, having a kid is just contributing to the slow but inevitable destruction of the Earth.

7. You can kiss your freedom goodbye.

To quote Kanye, “She got one of yo kids got you for 18 years.” While he’s talking about gold digger (a term I loathe), the fact remains that once you become a parent, you have at least 18 years of your life being sucked dry, financially, emotionally, mentally, and physically by a kid. Say it out loud: 18 years. Plus, being a parent doesn’t really stop once your kid officially reaches adulthood, either.

8. Your kids are going to be jerks someday.

dad with kids at computer

Think about how you were in your teens. Think about the selfish, ungrateful jerk you were. Do you want to deal with that crap from someone you brought into the world? I don’t think so. They eventually grow out of it (usually, anyway), but those years before can be pretty painful.

9. You have better things to do with your time.

It may sound brutal, but it’s the truth. You only get one shot at this whole thing called life and there’s a world out there, a beautiful existence that comes when you skip having kids, that’s worth exploring. Don’t you owe it to yourself to try that on for size? Yes.

10. Kids are expensive

According to a report by the U.S. Department of Agriculture, the average cost of raising a kid from birth to 18 years of age — which doesn’t include college — is $310,000. And that doesn’t include inflation. While that amount might be spread out over 18 years, it doesn’t include extras — that’s just putting food on the table and clothes on their backs.

11. It’s better to regret not having kids than regret actually having them.

Portrait of happy young couple walking and talking in the countryside. Young man and woman enjoying on a nature hike.

I’ve written quite a few pieces on why I don’t want kids. I’ve also received quite a few responses; some called me selfish (true!) and some from women who openly admitted that they regretted having kids. They were adamant about the fact that they love their kids, but if they could do it over, they wouldn’t have gotten on the baby train. Regret is a horrible feeling to have. It rips at your insides on a daily basis and makes you second-guess everything. No one should live with regret — YOU shouldn’t live with regret.

Enjoyed this piece? Give us a like and follow Bolde on MSN for more!

Amanda Chatel is a sexual health, mental health, and wellness journalist with more than a decade of experience. Her work has been featured in Shape, Glamour, SELF, Harper's Bazaar, The Atlantic, Forbes, Elle, Mic, Men's Health and Bustle, where she was a lifestyle writer for seven years. In 2019, The League included Amanda in their "15 Inspirational Feminists Every Single Person Should Follow on Twitter" list.

Amanda has a bachelor's degree in English and master's degree in Creative Writing from the University of New Hampshire. She divides her time between NYC, Paris, and Barcelona.

You can follow her on Instagram @la_chatel or on Twitter @angrychatel.
close-link
close-link
close-link
close-link