There’s something to be said for people who love deep conversations. They force their hectic schedules to pause long enough to look another person in the eye and talk of things that the day-to-day routine won’t lend itself to consider. Often, we picture these people as stuffy college professors pouring over ancient Greek, smoking cigars, and only speaking with the academics. But there are plenty of us everyday folks who love deep conversations, and we tend to have these things in common.
1. We value intimacy.
Deep conversations won’t settle for a passive, “How are you?” and they certainly won’t settle for an answer like, “I’m fine, thanks.” People who love deep conversations value intimacy and understand that there’s more to life than checking off boxes. Going to work, hitting the gym, cooking dinner, taking a shower, going to sleep, and repeat just won’t do it for us. Something deeper has to break up the monotony of going through the motions.
2. We strive for purpose.
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If something deeper has to break up the monotony, that means people’s purpose extends past making a paycheck and simply surviving the day. Deep conversationalists strive for purpose, not allowing each life season to pass us by without investing in its unique opportunities.
3. We invite vulnerability.
People who love deep conversations are well aware that vulnerability is required. In fact, we invite vulnerability because we recognize that being honest about where we are in life allows us to examine ourselves. Being vulnerable isn’t fun — it’s often uncomfortable, in fact. However, people who love deep conversations grow to welcome vulnerability into their lives, knowing they’re better for it.
4. We’re open to change.
People who love deep conversations strive for purpose, invite vulnerability, and are open to new ways of thinking and doing things. Deep conversations are meant to challenge how we see ourselves and the world, so why discuss deep, life-changing things if someone doesn’t have an innate desire to change?
5. We find human connection important.
These days, it’s easy to hide behind a screen and wall ourselves off from the rest of the world, but people who engage in deep conversations see a purpose in sitting down, whether in a coffee shop or on someone’s couch, looking them in the eye, and talking about goals, dreams, purpose, and hope. Humans are the theme behind every conversation held, and people who prefer the more serious talks not only recognize this but choose to value human life.
6. We create a like-minded community.
Humans were designed to be in relationships with one another, to find a home with like-minded people, and to establish community. We weren’t meant to live in isolation, and those who enjoy hosting deep conversations are more readily able and willing to find like-minded people and create a community.
7. We’re willing to be challenged by differences.
Just as people who love deep conversations easily find others they have much in common with, they just as easily engage with people who are different and challenge their principles. Deep conversations question things that matter and beckon everyone to examine how they see life and people’s purpose within it. Furthermore, people who not only love but respect deep conversations possess humility and a willingness to have their opinions challenged.
8. We have intellect.
There’s something to be said of the brains of people who actively create, engage in, and are changed by deep conversations. They take the time to consider more than the nine-to-five routine of life, living as more than widgets who settle for existence. Intellect is desired and utilized.
9. We often read the classics.
Not all deep conversers are literary nerds or employed in the realm of academia, but many people who thrive on deep conversations have read the classics. These are simply stories and series of thoughts drafted by people with the same questions as us; they simply lived a few centuries back. Whether it’s philosophers like Plato or complicated romances like Shakespeare’s Macbeth, the classics offer insight into the same grueling questions we have and attempt to offer their answers.
10. We consider modern psychology.
Just as we look to history, we consider today’s psychology as a guide to our deep conversations. That doesn’t mean that we accept all of history or today’s ideas, but we use other people’s deep conversations to challenge our own and see how ours do or don’t align with logic and refining love.
11. We are typically “old souls.”
Many Millennials and Gen Z kids get a bad rap for being fleeting, solely able to “live in the moment.” However, many of us are energized by deep conversations and truly care about matters outside Instagram likes. Don’t count out young, deep conversationalists—they’re more of an old soul than you might give them credit for.
12. We can be found in cozy settings.
Deep conversations rarely happen in a throng of people; they tend to be more intimate, in one-on-one settings. Libraries, coffee shops, and back porches are ideal spots for people who enjoy talking about life’s deep subjects. We love going to a quiet place and losing hours deep in conversation with people on our level.
13. We often enjoy nostalgic drinks.
Just as deep conversationalists enjoy cozy settings, we enjoy our cozy, nostalgic drinks. Whether it’s some strong, light-roasted coffee, a cup of Earl Gray tea with honey and peppermint, or whiskey on the rocks, nostalgic drinks add to the inviting atmosphere that people who love deep conversations create.
14. We think through the conversation after it’s over.
People who love to delve deep will take everything that was discussed with them to our car. We’ll think through what was said while we’re in the shower or dozing off at bedtime. Deep conversations mean something, so the themes discussed aren’t flippantly forgotten once the talking has stopped.
15. We’re available for follow-up conversations.
Since deep conversationalists will continue to think about what was said, we’ll often create new ideas, whether to confer with or challenge what was said. Naturally, we’ll be available and excited for follow-up conversations, so be ready for round two!
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