Over-the-Top Romantic Gestures We Wish Guys Would Make (But Never Will)

Hollywood has made it hard for regular men to match up to the glamorous version of romance that we see in the movies, and there’s a good reason why your favorite, over-the-top romantic scene is something your man will never do in real life. It doesn’t mean a girl can’t dream, though. Here’s what movie romance moves we most wish a guy would bring to life, and why it’ll never, EVER happen.

1. Show up unannounced to profess his undying love. Who can forget the scene in Love Actually where Rick from The Walking Dead knocks on the door of his best friend’s house to confess his undying love for Kiera Knightly and how he has accepted the fact that he could never have her but loves her anyway? Aww!

In real life, this would never work. If your dream guy knocked on the door to secretly profess his love to you, doing it with giant poster boards and loud music doesn’t exactly scream discretion. He’d probably get interrupted by your roommate nosing around the front door to see what all the noise was about and kill the romantic vibe instantly.

2. Fall head over heels for you on top of the Empire State Building. Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan experience love at first sight right in front of our very eyes when they meet on top of the legendary New York City building in Sleepless in Seattle. What a romantic prospect for your next Tinder date, right?

In real life, it probably would be a lot more awkward. When Meg and Tom met, they stared creepily at each other for an uncomfortably long time. Imagine that same awkward stare minus the instant chemistry. There’s a reason why meeting up for coffee or dinner is the best choice. It offers an easy escape from a potentially bad date that doesn’t require base jumping off the ledge of a building.

3. Hold a boombox playing a romantic song outside your window. The picture of John Cusack in a brown trench coat holding a boom box high above his head in Say Anything has become an iconic image in pop culture. It was a romantic gesture that only sensitive bad boy types could pull, and now, every time we hear “In Your Eyes” by Peter Gabriel, we can’t help but wish for our very own John Cusack to show his love for us in exactly the same way.

However, it’s highly unlikely that your man has a boombox just kicking it in the back of his closet next to a stack of easy rock tapes. If he does, he should probably put those up on eBay and get some cash money, because no one has those anymore. And somehow, a guy holding up a Beats pill stereo just wouldn’t have the same effect.

4.Whisk you away in a fancy limousine because he’s rich and he can. Just when you thought Julia Roberts was going to take the money she got from Richard Gere in Pretty Woman and use it to better herself, here he comes in a white limo to whisk her away to the easy life and pay all her bills. Which isn’t really the best of endings as far as her personal growth goes, but whatever! Trips to Italy and maids rule, right?

Unfortunately, it’s unlikely to happen because he has a student loan bill he’s still paying for and so do you. That, and he’s not Richard Gere.

5. Plan a surprise party just for the two of you. In 16 Candles, Molly finds out that her crush, the impossibly gorgeous and beautiful Jake Ryan, has a crush on her too. He surprises Molly by planning a private birthday on a table for two. Literally.

Sure, the two of them staring into each other’s eyes with only the small flicker of the birthday candle lighting their pretty faces makes for one of the most romantic visuals ever, but logistically, this seating arrangement would only lead to your feet falling asleep. Unless someone else was there to capture the moment on Instagram, then it’s just not worth climbing that table. So many things can go wrong, and how long could your romantic kiss really last when you have to overextend your back like that?

6. Rebuild the house he made love to you for the first time in. The Notebook as a whole was an absolute sop fest in the best possible way, but the one part that had all the ladies’ feeling flush with the feels was when Ryan Gosling’s character rebuilt the house he made love to Allie (Rachel McAdams) in for the first time. He was fueled by the anger of losing her and his intense yearning to get her back. WOW.

In real life, it’ll never happen. Even if he had a dilapidated house to rebuild in your honor, with the economy being the way it is, he’s not going to have much luck scoring a home improvement loan with a decent APR rate. And let’s be honest, a romantic, homemade meal he cooked all by himself (minus the high interest loan) would have you swooning just the same.

Elaine is a freelance writer who has written for Playboy and used to blog nonstop before she got a Facebook, Twitter, & Instagram and lost all focus. She loves mangoritas, talking in the third person and when you share her articles with your friends. Follow her on Twitter @Ladyhaha, or go to Shedens.com and read more of her ridiculousness.