Ever felt like someone wasn’t being entirely truthful with you? It’s not always easy to spot, but sometimes, the words people use can give them away. Here are 12 phrases that a dishonest person uses that are subtly underhanded enough to be able to masquerade as honest and potentially trick you.
1. “Trust Me.”
When someone insists on being trusted without earning it, be cautious. The phrase “Trust me” can be a red flag, especially if it’s used to bypass your questions or concerns. Honest communication usually doesn’t require such assurances. If someone is genuinely trustworthy, their actions and consistent honesty will prove it over time. Overusing “trust me” can be an attempt to cover up something that doesn’t quite add up. It’s important to trust your instincts if something feels off.
2. “I Promise.”
Promises should be sacred, but sometimes they’re used to manipulate. If someone frequently says “I promise” but often fails to deliver, it might be a tactic to gain your confidence. Dishonest people might use promises to buy time or pacify you. A pattern of broken promises is a warning sign. Pay attention to whether their words align with their actions. Reliable people don’t need to constantly promise; they just follow through.
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4. “To Be Honest…”
“To be honest” or “Honestly” can sometimes be a sign of deception. It’s as if the person is trying to convince you of their sincerity. But why should honesty need to be announced? In normal conversation, honesty is expected, not something that needs to be pointed out. If someone frequently uses this phrase, especially when providing explanations or answers, it could be a tactic to make their lies more convincing. Honest communication is typically straightforward without needing such qualifiers.
5. “It’s Not About the Money.”
When someone says, “It’s not about the money,” especially in a financial context, be wary. This phrase is often used to divert attention from the true motives, which might actually be financial. It’s a classic technique used to make someone seem more altruistic or honest than they might be. True generosity or fairness doesn’t usually need to be stated. Actions speak louder than words, so look at the overall situation and motives. If money is a central aspect, claiming it’s not about the money can be a red flag.
6. “You Can Trust Me Because…”
Be cautious when someone feels the need to give reasons why you should trust them. Trust is built over time through actions and consistent behavior. When someone says, “You can trust me because…”, they might be trying to convince you of something that isn’t naturally there. Genuine trust doesn’t require justifications. If they’re trustworthy, you’ll feel it; they won’t need to persuade you with reasons. This phrase can be a sign of trying too hard to establish credibility.
7. “I Have Never Lied to You.”
This statement can be a tactic to deflect suspicion. If someone feels the need to assert that they’ve never lied to you, it might raise questions. Why do they feel the need to say this? Honest people don’t usually make such declarations; their truthfulness is evident in their consistency. If you hear this phrase, especially in response to doubts you’ve expressed, it might be a cover-up. It’s important to look at the broader context of your interactions with them.
8. “You’re Overthinking It.”
If someone tells you that you’re overthinking things, especially when you have legitimate concerns, be alert. This phrase can be a way to dismiss your doubts or intuition. It’s a tactic to make you question your judgment and to deflect attention from their actions. Trusting your gut is important; if something feels wrong, it’s worth exploring. Being told you’re overthinking can be an attempt to undermine your confidence in your perceptions. Pay attention to whether this phrase is used to shut down conversation or inquiry.
9. “I Don’t Remember Saying That.”
Memory can be tricky, but this phrase is often used to evade accountability. If someone consistently claims not to remember saying or doing things, especially when it’s convenient for them, it’s suspicious. It can be a tactic to avoid discussing promises or statements they’ve made. Keep an eye on patterns. If their memory lapses always seem to serve their interests, it’s a red flag. Honesty involves owning up to your words and actions, not conveniently forgetting them.
10. “That’s Not What I Meant.”
Misunderstandings happen, but be cautious if someone frequently uses this phrase to backtrack. If they often claim you misunderstood them, especially after being caught in a lie or controversial statement, it might be deliberate deception. It can be a way to shift the blame onto you for supposedly misinterpreting their words. Pay attention to whether this pattern repeats itself. Consistent honesty doesn’t require constant clarification or backpedaling.
11. “Let’s Focus on the Positive.”
While focusing on the positive is generally good, be cautious if this phrase is used to divert from legitimate issues. If someone uses it to sidestep important discussions or concerns you’ve raised, it might be a red flag. It can be a tactic to avoid dealing with uncomfortable truths or to gloss over their dishonesty. Genuine communication involves addressing the full spectrum of a situation, not just the convenient parts. This phrase shouldn’t be used to escape accountability.
12. “I Was Just Joking.”
Humor is great, but this phrase can sometimes be a cover-up for dishonesty. If someone says something hurtful or untrue and then claims they were just joking, especially when confronted, it’s a concern. It can be a way to deflect criticism or avoid responsibility for their words. Pay attention to the context and whether this pattern occurs frequently. Jokes shouldn’t be a disguise for deception or insensitivity.
13. “I’m Just Trying to Help You.”
Be cautious when someone frequently insists they’re just trying to help, especially if their actions don’t align with their words. This phrase can sometimes be a cover for manipulative behavior. It’s used to position themselves as the good guy, even when their actions might be self-serving or harmful. Genuine help doesn’t need to be constantly stated; it’s shown through actions and respect for your autonomy. If someone is really trying to help, you’ll feel supported, not pressured or deceived. When “I’m just trying to help you” is used repeatedly, especially to justify questionable behavior, it’s a signal to examine their motives and your relationship with them more closely.
