13 Phrases That Seem Innocent But Are Actually Quite Manipulative

13 Phrases That Seem Innocent But Are Actually Quite Manipulative

If you’ve ever dealt with someone who’s incredibly manipulative, you’ll know all too well how underhanded and sly they can be. They never say what they really mean, instead veiling condescending, rude, and manipulative things in seemingly innocuous phrases. In other words, when someone like that says one of these things, you know they’re trying to mold you like clay. Don’t let them!

1. “I’m Just Trying to Help.”

Okay, we’ve all heard this one, right? “I’m just trying to help.” It sounds like a benevolent offer, but sometimes it’s more like a bulldozer of unsolicited advice. You know, like when Aunt Mildred insists her kale smoothie recipe is the cure for everything, even a broken shoelace. So, when someone drops this line, it’s time to assess if their ‘help’ is genuinely helpful or just a clever way to steer you toward their version of success. Remember, not all attempts to assist lead to the golden path, and sometimes, you’re better off taking a different route.

2. “You’re Overreacting.”

Ah, the classic “You’re overreacting.” It’s like a get-out-of-jail-free card for the person who messed up (not to mention a major sign of gaslighting). You spill coffee on your favorite shirt, and they’re there to say, “Chill, you’re overreacting.” But are you, really? It’s important to trust your gut, and if you’re feeling all the feels, that’s valid! So, when someone tries to downplay your emotions with this line, stand your ground and embrace your emotional rollercoaster. After all, life would be pretty dull without a few twists and turns.

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4. “If You Really Loved Me, You Would…”

Oh boy, this one’s a classic emotional tug-of-war. “If you really loved me, you would…” do something you may not want to do. It’s like they’re using your love as a magical spell to get their way. But here’s the deal: love isn’t a remote control, and you’re not obligated to change channels just because someone’s demanding it. Healthy relationships are built on respect, not on emotional extortion. So, the next time this line pops up, remind them that love should be given freely, like a cat’s disdainful glance.

5. “I Guess I’m Just Not Good Enough for You.”

Ah, the dramatic exit! “I guess I’m just not good enough for you.” This one’s like a soap opera scene, complete with the slow-mo exit and melodramatic music. But here’s the twist – you’re not the director of their self-worth movie. It’s not your job to give them a standing ovation. Everyone’s responsible for their own self-esteem, and you’re not the casting director in their play. Instead of getting caught up in the dramatics, remind them that self-worth isn’t determined by your applause meter.

6. “You’re So Sensitive.”

Ah, the classic “You’re so sensitive.” It’s like they’re accusing you of being an emotional landmine. But hey, sensitivity is a superpower, not a kryptonite. It’s like having extra taste buds for the flavors of life. So, when they drop this line, don’t let it dull your emotional rainbow. You’re allowed to feel all the feels, and no one can tell you otherwise. Instead of swallowing their criticism, remind them that being sensitive means you have a finely tuned emotional radar – you can sense BS from a mile away.

7. “You’re Overthinking It.”

Ah, the classic “You’re overthinking it.” It’s like when you’re trying to assemble a piece of furniture, and someone says you’re overcomplicating it. But here’s the deal: you’re just making sure that chair won’t collapse when you sit in it! When someone dismisses your thought process with this phrase, it’s time to remind them that thorough thinking is your superpower. You’re not overthinking; you’re making sure everything clicks into place – just like those furniture pieces.

8. “I Don’t Care What Other People Think.”

When someone proudly proclaims, “I don’t care what other people think,” it can be liberating, but it can also be a subtle way to avoid accountability. It’s like saying, “I’ll do whatever I want, and you can’t say a thing.” But let’s be real; we all care a little about what others think. It’s part of being human. So, when someone uses this phrase, remind them that while it’s essential to stay true to yourself, it’s also okay to consider how your actions affect those around you. After all, we’re all in this social game together.

9. “It’s Just a Joke, Relax.”

We’ve all heard this one after a joke that feels more like a punchline to your self-esteem. “It’s just a joke, relax!” they say, but is it really funny if it stings? This phrase can be a sneaky way to gaslight your feelings. So, the next time someone tries to brush off your hurt with this line, remind them that humor should uplift, not deflate. After all, good jokes bring joy, not tears.

10. “I Thought You Knew.”

Ah, the “I thought you knew” card. It’s like playing a game without explaining the rules and then claiming victory. When someone uses this phrase, they might be trying to shirk responsibility for miscommunication. But hey, we’re not mind readers! So, when they pull this one, kindly remind them that clarity is key. It’s not about psychic abilities; it’s about open and honest communication.

11. “Don’t Be So Sensitive, I Was Just Being Honest.”

When someone says, “Don’t be so sensitive, I was just being honest,” it’s like they’re using brutal honesty as a shield. But there’s a difference between honesty and tactlessness. So, the next time someone tries to bulldoze your feelings with this line, tell them that honesty can coexist with kindness. After all, being straightforward doesn’t mean you have to be hurtful. Honesty is a two-way street – it’s about speaking your truth while respecting others’ emotions.

12. “You’re Too Emotional.”

The “You’re too emotional” phrase often gets tossed around when someone wants to dismiss your feelings. It’s like they’re saying, “Your emotions are inconvenient, so please turn them off.” But guess what? Emotions are part of what makes us human. So, when they label you as ‘too emotional,’ remind them that being in touch with your feelings is a strength, not a weakness. It’s like having a colorful palette to paint the canvas of life. Embrace your emotions; they’re what make you beautifully you.

13. “You’re Too Intense”

When someone tells you, “You’re too intense,” it’s like they’re trying to dim your passionate flame. But here’s the deal: intensity is what sets your soul on fire! It’s the enthusiasm that propels you to chase your dreams and give your all. So, the next time someone tries to douse your intensity with this line, remind them that your fire is what fuels your greatness. You’re not too intense; you’re just intensely awesome!

14. “I Don’t Have Time for Drama.”

We’ve all heard this one – “I don’t have time for drama.” It’s like saying, “I only have room in my life for rainbows and butterflies.” But let’s be real, life isn’t always sunshine and unicorns. Drama is just another word for life’s unexpected plot twists. So, when someone claims they’re drama-free, gently remind them that drama is just life’s way of keeping things interesting. It’s like the spicy salsa of existence – it adds flavor to the everyday mundane. Embrace the drama, and let it be a part of your adventurous journey!

Piper Ryan is a NYC-based writer and matchmaker who works to bring millennials who are sick of dating apps and the bar scene together in an organic and efficient way. To date, she's paired up more than 120 couples, many of whom have gone on to get married. Her work has been highlighted in The New York Times, Time Out New York, The Cut, and many more.

In addition to runnnig her own business, Piper is passionate about charity work, advocating for vulnerable women and children in her local area and across the country. She is currently working on her first book, a non-fiction collection of stories focusing on female empowerment.
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