17 Psychological Games Liars Play to Keep You Trapped

17 Psychological Games Liars Play to Keep You Trapped

Habitual liars are good at what they do — you have to give them that. They’ve learned the tricks of the trade when it comes to manipulating and deceiving people, and they’re so skilled at it that it can be hard to see through the BS. As a result, you end up trapped in their web of lies for way too long because you don’t realize they’re doing these things.

1. Gaslighting Your Reality

two female friends arguing outside

Gaslighting is when someone tries to make you question your own reality and memories. Picture this: you’re sure about what you saw or heard, but the other person insists you’ve made a mistake. It’s a classic move in the liar’s playbook to make you doubt yourself. This tactic can make you feel like you’re on shaky ground, but trust your gut. You’re not as forgetful or confused as they might want you to think.

2. Shifting the Blame

argue sad couple disagreement fight

Ever been in a situation where you’re pretty sure someone else made a mistake, but somehow you end up apologizing? Welcome to the blame game. When someone’s caught in a lie, they might try to deflect the blame onto you. It’s their way of taking the heat off themselves, and it can be pretty sneaky. Remember, owning up to one’s actions is a mark of character, and shifting blame is definitely not cool.

3. Playing the Victim

Young man and woman quarreling at home

This one’s tricky. When someone consistently plays the victim, they might be using it as a tactic to evade responsibility. If every story they tell paints them as the hapless hero, eyebrows should go up. It’s a way of gaining sympathy and dodging any bullets headed their way. While it’s important to be supportive, it’s also key to notice when someone’s tales don’t quite add up.

4. Overloading with Details

two colleagues having heated conversation

Ever listened to a story that has way too many details? It’s like they’re painting a picture so vivid, you can’t help but believe it. But here’s the catch — sometimes liars use a flood of details to convince you of their honesty. It’s a smoke screen. Too many details can be a red flag that something’s not quite right, so pay attention!

5. Guilt-tripping

Caring husband supporting his depressed wife at marriage therapy session in counselor's office, encouraging her to share problems

Ah, the classic guilt trip — making you feel guilty for seeing through them. It’s like they have a sixth sense for your weak spots and aren’t afraid to use them. By making you feel bad for even questioning their honesty, they’re trying to flip the script. This tactic is all about control and keeping you second-guessing yourself.

6. Changing the Subject

woman having a conversation with her mom

This one’s as old as time. You’re getting close to uncovering a lie, and suddenly, the topic changes. It’s like a magician’s trick – now you see it, now you don’t. By steering the conversation away from dangerous territory, they’re trying to keep their lies under wraps. It’s a slippery way to avoid the truth, and it can be frustratingly effective.

7. The Silent Treatment

sitting apart on the sofa couple

Silence can be loud, especially when it’s used as a psychological game. When someone gives you the silent treatment, they’re often trying to exert control or punish you. It’s like they’re saying, “Until you agree with me or stop questioning me, you’re not worth my words.” This tactic can make you feel isolated and desperate to fix things, even when you haven’t done anything wrong.

8. Constantly Changing Their Story

angry couple arguing at dinner table

Ever talk to someone whose story changes every time you hear it? It’s like trying to nail jelly to a wall. When a person frequently alters details, it’s a sign they might be weaving a web of lies. It’s their way of keeping you off balance. You’re never quite sure what’s true, which can be really disorienting and unsettling.

9. Using Affection as a Bargaining Tool

couple embracing on the street

This is a sneaky one. When someone uses affection or flattery to sway you, be cautious. It’s like they’re saying, “I’ll be sweet when you believe me, but not when you question me.” This conditional affection is a manipulation tactic, aiming to make you crave their approval so much that you’ll accept their lies.

10. Making Promises They Never Keep

couple about to kiss in sunshineiStock

Beware of the eternal promise-maker. They often use grand promises to distract you from their lies. It’s like offering a shiny toy to look at so you’ll forget what you were actually asking about. These empty promises can reel you in, but over time, their lack of follow-through reveals their true intentions.

11. Playing Dumb

Playing dumb is an age-old trick in the liar’s handbook. When confronted, they might shrug and claim ignorance. It’s their way of avoiding responsibility by pretending they don’t understand what you’re talking about. This act can be frustrating as it forces you to question whether they’re genuinely clueless or just faking it.

12. Mirroring Your Emotions

sisters comforting one another

When someone mirrors your emotions or opinions, it can initially feel like they’re on your side. However, be wary if it seems too consistent. It’s a tactic used to gain trust by creating a false sense of similarity or empathy. They reflect what you want to hear, making it harder for you to spot their deceit.

13. Exaggerating Situations

Some people have a flair for the dramatic, especially when it involves twisting facts. They might exaggerate situations to make their lies more believable or to gain your sympathy. It’s like they’re the director of their own drama, where the truth is stretched to fit their script. This tactic often leaves you feeling confused about what’s real and what’s just theatrics.

14. Selective Memory

Ah, the convenient case of selective memory. It’s when someone “forgets” key details or events that don’t support their lies. It’s like they have a mental filter that conveniently blurs out anything incriminating. This tactic can be particularly frustrating because it challenges your memory and perception of events.

15. Accusing You of Lying

man woman sad argue fight disagreement

In a twist of irony, some will accuse you of lying to deflect attention from their deceit. It’s a classic blame-shifting strategy. By putting you on the defensive, they hope to steer the conversation away from their lies. It’s a bold move that can be quite disorienting and can sometimes make you question your own truth.

16. The “You’re Too Sensitive” Card

sad woman on edge of bed with boyfriend

When you express doubts or discomfort, they might tell you you’re being too sensitive or overreacting. It’s a way of belittling your feelings and making you question your reactions. By undermining your emotions, they’re trying to make their lies more palatable and your objections seem unreasonable.

17. Making You Feel Indebted

Young woman talking with her upset husband while sitting together in their bedroom at home

They might do you a favor or remind you of past help they’ve offered to make you feel like you owe them something. It’s a psychological ploy to make you feel like you owe them something, usually your trust or silence. This tactic can make it harder for you to confront them, as it’s wrapped in a guise of generosity or past support.

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Originally from Australia, Emma Mills graduated from the University of Queensland with a dual degree in Philosophy and Applied Linguistics before moving to Los Angeles to become a professional matchmaker (a bit of a shift, obviously). Since 2015, she has helped more than 150 people find lasting love and remains passionate about bringing amazing singletons together.

Emma is also the author of the upcoming Hachette publication, "Off the Beaten Track: Finding Lasting Love in the Least Likely of Places," due out in January 2025.
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