You’re having a conversation with someone at work, and they keep inching closer to you. Or, maybe you’re on a date and the person is practically sitting on top of you. Ugh, back up! When people invade your personal space, it’s a violation of your boundaries. However, you don’t just have to sit there feeling uncomfortable. Here are 15 comebacks to have up your sleeve for people who don’t know what it means to back off (but really need to).
1. “Wait — I’ve got a cold!”
Since the COVID-19 pandemic, one of the easiest ways to get people to move away from you is to say you’re sick. Seriously. Mention that you have a cold or the flu and they’ll keep a good distance. (If they don’t, this makes them extra weird — who wants to get ill?)
2. “I need some space to think about this.”
Hint that you need mental and physical room to digest what they’re saying to you or what’s happening around you with this comeback. You could even get up and walk away so they understad that they shouldn’t follow you. Sure, you might want to keep the convo going, but you need a break!
3. “Okay, I’ll get back to you!”
Another way to shut down someone who’s in your space is to tell them you’ll have to let them know your response to about whatever they’re telling you at another time. For now, the conversation is over and they’re free (and even encouraged) to leave. This buys you some time away from them, and prevents you from being cornered and uncomfortable.
4. “Let’s walk and talk?”
There’s nothing worse than being stuck in a spot with this person breathing on you. Gross. So, suggest that you continue the conversation while walking. This way, you can always keep a step ahead of them and you never have to have them up in your face.
5. “Could you please…” [Gesture with your hand]
Sometimes you don’t have to clearly specify that you want the person to step back. It’s obvious if you say, “Please could you…” and then raise your hand and wave it around a bit to signal that you want them to step further away. Done. It might seem a little harsh, but if they’re not getting the hint, you’ll have to do it.
6. “Could you please stand behind the desk?”
If you’re in the workplace and someone’s sitting on your desk (how rude!), you could politely ask them to stand behind the desk instead. This can help you to get them to move away, and it clearly shows them where you’d prefer them to stand.
7. Or, say nothing and stand behind something.
If you feel awkward, or you don’t have a comeback handy, don’t worry. Just use objects in your environment to block you from this person. For instance, you could stand behind a desk or chair to create a barrier between you. Hopefully, they’ll get the hint that you want a bit of breathing room from them!
8. “Are you a bit too close?”
Phrasing that you want them to back off as a question can help you to make the other person more aware of how they’re stepping over a boundary. Make them question their rude behavior! Of course, they might truly be unaware that they’re invading your personal space, but this will definitely make them aware of it.
9. “I’m not a hugger.”
If you dislike it when people are touchy-feely with you, even though it’s well-intentioned, you don’t have to accept it if it makes you feel uncomfortable. Before they can make contact, tell them, “I’m not a hugger!” Offer them your hand to shake instead.
10. “You remind me of my cat — she doesn’t understand personal space either!”
If you know the person and you don’t want to be rude, you could be light and make a joke about their behavior. You could say something like, “Are you a cat? Because you’re always invading my personal space!” Although this can be humorous, it sends the message that you don’t like their behavior.
11. “I don’t like people in my bubble, and you’re in my bubble.”
In this comeback, by mentioning “people” you’re cleverly making your comment less personal. It also helps to get your message across by using the word “bubble” so it’s non-confrontational. You’re not saying, “get away from me” or something similar, that could be considered rude.
12. “Can I please move you back about another foot?”
By asking the other person if you can move them back, you’re making a polite request, while specifying the distance makes it clear that they need to take a massive step back. As in, huge.
13. “I’m feeling a bit claustrophobic/cornered.”
It can help to express to the person how their lack of personal space etiquette is making you feel. You could explain that it’s a bit claustrophobic, or you’re being cornered. This will make them realize they’ve got to give you more space. It’s basic manners.
14. “I can’t maintain eye contact when you’re that close.”
It’s hard to look at someone and engage in a conversation with them if they’re standing too close to you. So, point out that it’s difficult to make eye contact with them. By using a logical reason for why you don’t want to be too close, you’ll encourage them to keep a distance in the future.
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