The Real Reason Why So Many Men Prefer Casual Relationships, According To A Guy

I’m sure just about every woman out there has experienced difficulty in getting a guy to commit to a serious relationship at some point, and I assure you that you’re rarely the reason for those difficulties. It’s just that a lot of men, at least until they mature a little, tend to prefer casual relationships. Why is that? Here are a few possibilities.

  1. They’re too busy to commit. I know this doesn’t just apply to men because all people have busy lives. Some of us prioritize our careers or family members and don’t have time for a serious relationship. If you come across a guy who refuses to commit, it might be because he doesn’t want to dedicate his time to something serious. In a way, he’s doing you a favor by letting you know that he can’t give you the commitment that you want and deserve.
  2. They can’t find the right person. I think we all know that it’s not easy to find “The One.” While no one wants to waste their time, men in particular don’t want to get involved past a certain point unless they think they’re with the right woman. Most of us don’t want to get into a relationship unless we think it’ll last. If a guy isn’t sure you’re his person, he might prefer to keep things a little more casual.
  3. They just got out of a serious relationship. When a guy first gets out of a relationship, the last thing in the world he wants is to get into another one right away. Of course, most of them will be open to something casual in the meantime. After all, they still want to have sex and connect with people. But after a serious relationship ends, it usually takes men longer than women to be ready for that level of seriousness again.
  4. They keep meeting the wrong people. Dating boring people can turn a person off to a serious relationship. You don’t want to commit to someone who can’t hold a conversation, but it can also make a guy doubt that he’ll ever find the right person. Because of this, he begins to crave only short-term and casual relationships.
  5. They’re In a rut. There are times when a guy just finds himself in a weird place. He’s too focused on other things and can’t even fathom getting involved in something serious. Instead, he just wants to go out there and have a little fun without having to worry about it turning into something hardcore and long-term.
  6. They can’t find a willing partner. For guys, sometimes a casual fling is just easier because they can’t figure out where they stand with a particular woman. We don’t always want to compete with other guys or try to prove to you that we’re boyfriend material. Keeping it casual can take those concerns out of the equation.
  7. It’s much less effort. As foolish as this sounds, some guys just like taking the easy way out. Casual relationships take a lot less time and energy than serious relationships. They take up less of our time and they’re a lot easier to maintain. In other words, keeping things casual is the path of least resistance.
  8. There are fewer games. This may be an unpopular opinion, but women can be tricky game players when it comes to pursuing a serious relationship. Meanwhile, if you lay your cards on the table, there can be a lot fewer games in a casual arrangement. At least if there are games, you have more control over them if you keep things casual, eliminating some of the confusion and frustration when things start to get serious.
  9. They don’t know what they want. Guys of a certain age don’t always know what they want. It’s hard to pursue something serious if you don’t know what you’re after and how you envision your life playing out. But if you stick to casual relationships, you can still have fun while perhaps figuring out what you like and don’t like.
  10. They value their freedom. For guys, this is kind of like the magic word. One could argue whether it’s true or not. But most men tend to believe that getting into a serious relationship deprives them of their freedom. They don’t want to feel like they’re settling down and trapped in a relationship. That can’t happen if you always keep things casual and don’t allow yourself to get into a serious relationship.
  11. They prefer simplicity. For whatever reason, it’s easier in casual relationships to be upfront about what you want. There are fewer feelings involved so things shouldn’t get so complicated. Doing this allows guys to date people without becoming intertwined in each other’s lives. In a way, that simplicity is a beautiful thing and a big reason why we prefer to keep it low-key.
  12. They like variety. In addition to worrying about getting tied down in a serious relationship, guys also worry about only being with one person. You can date different types of people and expand your horizons rather than always being with the same person and risking getting bored. It’s like Forrest Gump said: “Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re going to get.” Casual relationships are a lot like that. From a man’s perspective, that’s a big part of the appeal.
Bryan Zarpentine graduated from Syracuse University and lives in upstate New York, where he writes largely about the world of sports. His work has appeared on Franchise Sports and WSN, among others. You can find him on Twitter @BZarp.