If You “Really Like Me,” Then Why Can’t You Date Me Exclusively?

Maybe I’m old-fashioned, but when I start dating a guy, I commit to dating him and no one else. From the first date, I like to see what’s going to happen with him before possibly moving on to other prospects. Because of this, I don’t get it when a guy claims to have had a great time on a first date with me but then he goes on dates with other women. WTF?

  1. His actions should match what he says. When a guy tells me he had such a great time with me, his actions need to show it. I want him to make an effort and really want to be with me, otherwise, it’s better if he doesn’t even bother. It’ll save us both time and energy.
  2. Does he really need options? I hate that dating feels like going shopping for a new deodorant. There are so many options that it’s hard to make a decision. I want a guy who doesn’t have to think so hard to be with me and who doesn’t feel like it’s a battle to stick to one woman.
  3. I feel like I’m not good enough. I don’t want a guy to date other women—I want him to continue dating me because I’m all he needs. That might sound hectic if we’ve only gone on one date, but is it really? What’s so hectic about wanting to be with a guy who knows what he wants?
  4. No, he’s not confused. If a guy isn’t sure that he wants to date me or not, I’d prefer if he never sees me again instead of stringing me along while he explores other options. That’s BS. I deserve some respect. Honestly, I don’t buy the excuse that a guy’s not sure what he wants. Any doubt means he’s not into me enough. Period.
  5. I need to start on a good footing. If I know that a guy’s dating other women but still interested in me, it feels like he’s really saying, “I’m not interested in you enough to date you exclusively.” It makes it hard to trust him when he says that he had an amazing time and can’t wait to see me again. He’s probably spinning that crap on all the other women he’s seeing.
  6. I hate casual datingSome people like to keep things casual. They don’t get too serious too quickly and prefer to “hang out” with lots of people instead of just one. What’s the point? I’m not saying I want to jump into a relationship but I want to give someone a real chance. Casual dating feels like a waste of time, like wandering around without a purpose.
  7. I want something serious. I want to see where things can go when I start dating a guy. The big picture is to enter into a real, committed relationship. If a guy’s all over the place, dating lots of other women, he clearly doesn’t share the same vision.
  8. I feel friend-zoned. When a guy tells me he had a wonderful time with me then returns days later to inform me that he’s been on other dates, it feels really weird. It’s like we’ve stepped into the friendzone or something. How the hell can I then switch back to dating this guy when he’s talking to me about his other dating prospects? So shady.
  9. I want a great love. Don’t give me the kind of relationship that involves exploring options, making a decision and following your head instead of your heart. That sounds like a business deal, for God’s sake. I want the chemistry, the spark, the pull to a person that can’t be denied. Is that really so much to ask?
  10. I don’t like to share. I’m not the type of person who’s okay with a man going on dates with other women, kissing them and probably doing more, while he’s also dating me. WTF? It’s like he’s leading me on while getting sex from multiple sources. Gross.
  11. First impressions should be enough. A guy should know by the time our date’s over if he wants to see me again. I can’t help but think that if he’s being tempted by other women, he’s not 100 percent into pursuing something with me. I don’t want to waste my time with someone on the fence. It’s all or nothing.
  12. When does the madness end? A guy I once dated who told me I was “crazy” for wanting to date exclusively from the first date, told me that casual dating isn’t a big deal because it doesn’t last that long. Once he chooses a woman to date seriously, he commits to her. Really? What are the guarantees that that will happen? I hate the feeling of waiting to be chosen by some guy while he has his fun dating other people. I can do better things than sit on the sidelines.
  13. I want to get what I give. Since I’m not going to date more than one guy at a time, I need a guy who won’t be dating other women after I’ve stepped into his life. If he doesn’t like me, then he can go date whoever he wants by all means but if he’s thrilled to have met me, then he should only want to be with me. It’s not clingy, it’s logical.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.