11 Reasons To Spend More Time Apart From Your Partner

When you first start dating your dream partner, you’re all over each other. It makes sense, but space in a relationship is literally one of the most important things you can ask for, especially if you think this guy might be marriage material. It might sound a little counterproductive, but here are some points you’re probably not thinking about right now.

  1. You’ll be keeping your other relationships healthy. Don’t be the girl who stops participating in the group chat because you have a boyfriend now. Your friends are still as important as ever. They may feel a little hurt if you abandoned them for someone else, especially since they’ll be the ones who’ll be there for you if your relationship doesn’t work out. They’ll also be the ones who will keep you sane after the two of you get into your first big fight. Treat them with a little respect and make sure you plan a lot of fun, guy-free hangouts with them.
  2. You’ll remember how good it feels to be independent. You don’t need a guy to live your life. Sure, it’s nice when you landed a great partner, but you’re a strong woman who can also figure it out on her own. The bad part about latching yourself onto a guy and not giving yourself space is that you can sometimes forget that. The more you go out solo, the less you’ll have to remind yourself how to be alone.
  3. It can be therapeutic. There’s a reason why relaxation usually focuses on deep breaths, dim lights, and minimal conversation. Even if you’re not meditating during your time apart (although it’s worth a try), it’s just nice to be able to retreat to a quiet space by yourself to recharge without feeling guilty. You won’t abandon your partner with time alone.
  4. It’s healthier for your relationship. Psychology Today has stated that a little time alone will help you de-stress. They note that it’s important for couples to have a breakdown of time that’s dedicated towards the couple, and towards the individual. Even if you just take a solo walk around the block, it’s something.
  5. You’ll be able to have time to work on your own projects. The last thing you need is a guy who’s so clingy that he makes you feel bad about pursuing your interests. You’re different people and shouldn’t be expected to like the same things. If you want to take a cooking class, and he’s not into it, it won’t be weird if you’ve already established a sense of space.
  6. You’ll get more insight into other relationships. Sometimes you overlook problematic behavior in your own relationship since you’ve forgotten they’re not normal. Every relationship works a little differently. By being able to go out and explore, you’ll get a little more insight as to whether or not things are still going well with yours.
  7. You’ll have better stories to tell. You don’t want to be the dull friend. Everyone has one. If every single story you have involves your partner or something funny your partner did, your friends might start subtly tuning you out, especially if they’re also friends with your partner and already heard the stories before.
  8. You’re less likely to get mad at him for the small, stupid stuff. Know how on every family vacation you grew to resent your siblings by the very end? It’s not like they did anything terrible, but after being tied together all week, you justified a ton of reasons why they’re the worst. The same is true for your boyfriend. If you don’t have some breathing room, you’ll find yourself nitpicking the smallest things about his personality.
  9. You’re sending a message to him. That message is that you don’t need him to be happy. You enjoy him and feel like he makes your life better, but you can function completely well without him. That’s important for him to always remember.
  10. You’ll give yourself a ton of time to get a better read on your partner. You know when you’re in the midst of a fight and you drum up hurtful old things? We’ve all done it. There’s a reason why taking a walk outside is a good way to cool down from a fight. It’s good for your brain to sort the information you have and go from there. Then you can see things from his perspective and be able to analyze why the things you said were a little hurtful. It’s beneficial for your relationship.
  11. It’ll make you a lot less needy. Giving yourself permission to leave and go on solo adventures will remind you that you were your own person way before this relationship started. You have the potential to manage your life on your own if need be. If you’ve been stuck in the house watching Netflix with him all weekend, even small tasks like going to the grocery store by yourself may feel like impossible tasks. Trust in yourself to get stuff done. Remember, you can always function without him.
Karen Belz is a New Jersey native who is currently living in Maryland. She has a Bachelor’s Degree in Speech Communication with a focus in Broadcasting and Print Media Studies from Millersville University of Pennsylvania. Since graduating, she has written for sites like LittleThings, HelloGiggles, and Scary Mommy and is currently an e-commerce editor at Bustle.

When she's not writing, she enjoys making her phone run out of memory after taking too many photos of her dog. You can find her on Twitter @karenebelz or on Instagram @karenbelz.