I Refuse To Waste My Time On Guys Who Don’t Treat Me Like I’m Worth Theirs

I want a relationship, but I only want to commit time to a man who’s willing to do the same for me. If we never see each other, then we’re not together. I won’t waste any more time on guys who doesn’t think I’m special enough to make time for me. It really is that simple.

  1. We can’t have a relationship over the phone. Technology may have come a long way, but it still doesn’t make up for quality time in person. Reading “lol” isn’t the same as hearing someone’s actual laugh. A yellow emoji grin isn’t the same as seeing someone smile. We have to spend time together talking, laughing, smiling, and touching. That’s what makes a relationship real.
  2. If he really liked me, he’d make the time to see me. It’s really that simple. If he were truly interested in me then he’d do whatever he could to make the time for us to be together. If he’s perfectly content with not seeing me then that’s a clear indication that we’re not right for each other. We should be drawn to each other. Otherwise, the relationship is just casual because his feelings for me as casual and that’s all they’ll ever be.
  3. If our relationship can’t be a priority then I’m better off single. If a man can’t add a relationship to his list of priorities, then he’s not ready to have a real relationship. I have a busy life too, but I’m willing to find a way to make time for the right man. So if a man wants his life to be completely his own, then he should be on his own. If he can’t commit a decent amount of time to me, then he shouldn’t be with me, because in that case, we’re both better off single.
  4. I don’t want a relationship that’s strictly emotional. There can’t be a physical aspect of our relationship if we’re never physically in the same place at the same time. It’s not just about sex either. We’ll never get to cuddle, hug, kiss, or even just hold hands. I might feel some emotions but without time spent together then physically we will always be strangers. I don’t want just emotions. I want a man who thinks I’m worth the time in person and not just over the phone. Time-wasting guys can keep on walking.
  5. For me, absence does not make the heart grow stronger. If we don’t see each other in person then any feelings I do have for a man are going to fade. I’ll be stuck with settling for the way things are now forever because if we don’t see each other then how is the relationship supposed to develop and grow? Instead, day by day, I’ll feel less and less until finally, I feel nothing for him at all, other than annoyed that he was such a waste of time, like so many other guys.
  6. If we don’t spend time together then the relationship is headed nowhere. How can we have a future together if we barely have a present? Spending time together is how we’ll figure out whether or not we’re right for each other. If we ever want the relationship to progress that at some point I need a guy who’s going to make a real commitment, but if he can’t even commit his time to me, how could he ever commit to anything else?
  7. I won’t have a relationship that’s just a string of missed connections. This week he’s too busy at work. The next week he’s on vacation. The week after that he’s seeing his family, and finally, he’s too busy hanging out with his bros. There’s no perfect time for a relationship, but I can’t just hold onto a string of missed connections. We’re both always going to have busy lives but if a guy really wants to have a relationship with me then he’s going to have to find a decent amount of time to actually connect.
  8. If we never actually see each other then we’re practically strangers. We’re not getting to know each other simply through text, email, or even (the practically unheard of) phone calls. We have to actually be with each other in the same place at the same time. That’s how we’ll learn if we’re compatible. We’ll pick up on each other’s mannerisms and habits to learn if we actually like being together. If a man can’t dedicate real time to me though, then no matter how much we talk through technology, we’ll never really know each other. Guys who want to waste my time in this way just aren’t worth the headache.
  9. If we’re not together then we pretty much have an “open relationship.” What other option is there? We can’t be exclusive when we’re never exclusively together. If we never get to see each other then what are the boundaries of our relationship? Can I flirt, kiss, and even sleep with other people since we’re clearly not doing any of those things at least not on a regular basis. If you don’t make time for me, at the end of the day our relationship is just plain undefined.
  10. I’ll never be truly happy. At least, not with this so-called relationship. If a man doesn’t think I’m worthy of his time then he’ll never be able to give me what I want, let alone what I need. Relationships are about love and companionship. It’s about caring for another human being and making a commitment to be there for each other. So if a man can’t be there for me then we can’t have a real relationship and all we’d really be doing is wasting time.
Kelsey Dykstra is a freelance writer based in Huntington Beach, CA. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing from Grand Valley State University and been writing professionally since graduating in 2013. In addition to writing about love and relationships for Bolde and lifestyle topics for Love to Know, she also writes about payment security and small business solutions for PaymentCloud.

Originally from Michigan, this warm weather seeker relocated to the OC just last summer. Kelsey enjoys writing her own fictional pieces, reading a variety of young adult novels, binging on Netflix, and of course soaking up the sun.

You can find more about Kelsey on her LinkedIn profile or on Twitter @dykstrakelsey.