There’s nothing quite as thrilling as the start of a new relationship. I always revel in my quickened heartbeat, stomach butterflies, and even sweaty palms when I’m in the presence of a new boyfriend. But after a couple of weeks, those nervous indicators of attraction turn into a full-on panic attack.
- I’m itching to define the relationship. After a couple of weeks, it should be clear as to whether or not the relationship is a short-lived fling or the start of a long-term commitment. Yes, every relationship is different and each develops at its own pace, but I’m a planner and like to know where my train is going before I hop on if you get my drift. I want to DTR but never know how or when to begin the “So, what are we?” conversation. After two weeks, I hold my breath, waiting for him to initiate the conversation or drop the “I don’t think we have a future together” bomb.
- The honeymoon phase is, well, just a phase. It’s a relationship, not a perpetual honeymoon, meaning these warm and fuzzy feelings are bound to come to an end, or at least mellow out. Even if the relationship lasts for years—or, hell, even a lifetime—I know we won’t always be as affectionate as we are during the first couple of weeks. After a few days, I start to wonder when I’ll lose the rose-tinted glasses and whether or not that moment will result in our decision to break up.
- It’s time to start asking myself the big questions. Even before we DTR, I need to do some serious soul-searching and ask myself just what it is I’m looking for in my next relationship. Sex? Companionship? Someone to inspire me and make me a better person? A wedding band? At two weeks, I feel pressure to envision the next three, six, even 12 months with my partner, anxious to know that the relationship is worth my investment.
- After two weeks, it’s time to split the bill. I’m nothing if not old fashioned and poor, which is why I don’t have a problem with guys buying me drinks or dinner… for the first couple of dates. After two weeks, I feel like I need to jump in there and pick up the tab every now and then. I’m all about reciprocated financial generosity, but I still cringe every time I reach for my wallet.
- I let my guard down. This is just another way of saying that I fall further and feel deeper. Apparently this is a huge anxiety of mine, otherwise, I might not have mentioned it three or four different ways already. I’m optimistic and hopeful that these two weeks will blossom into something serious so I don’t guard my heart. Vulnerability is real, OK??
- Sleep takes a backseat to sex (or other couple-y activities). Definitely not the worst thing in the world, but what’s a girl gotta do to get a decent eight hours of sleep? Be single, that’s what. After two weeks of late nights and early mornings (unfortunately, the professional world doesn’t come to a screeching halt each time a new relationship starts), I become exhausted and can hardly concentrate on anything but sustaining those butterfly flutters.
- I run out of cute outfits. When my boyfriend told me he liked the fact that I wore fun earrings, I made an effort to wear a new pair each time he saw me—and no, I don’t dress for my boyfriend, I dress for his compliments, which are for me. I did the same thing with my clothes until I realized the only thing he hadn’t seen me in was my “I <3 Chipotle” t-shirt. After a couple of weeks, it’s time to pull out the big guns and get creative with outfits. Or just go shopping.
- Spending time with my boyfriend becomes second nature. According to a study conducted by University College London, it takes about 21 days to establish a simple habit (it takes longer if that habit requires more time or energy). Reveling in a new relationship occurs without much conscious effort, so creating a habit of affection occurs almost immediately. At about 14 days into my relationships, I begin to worry that I’m becoming dependent on my partner, his texts, and the time we spend together.
- With habits come expectations. Once I become used to his affection and the effort he makes to keep my attention, I’ll expect it a week, month, even a year down the road. After two weeks of “good morning” texts, I’ll immediately notice—and be disappointed—the day he forgets to send one. I know the better things are in the beginning, the more obvious both of our inevitable missteps will be.
- My mom has too many questions. My mom’s favorite way to inquire about my sisters’ and my relationship statuses is by asking, “So, do we still like [insert name of guy]?” That predictable question rears it’s ugly head anywhere between one hour and two weeks after the first date and when it does, I never know how to answer. This is why DTR-ing (D-ing TR?) is so damn important.
- Speaking of family, when should he meet mine? Remember what I said about building habits? After a couple of weeks of mentioning my boyfriend, he literally becomes a household name, which begs the question as to when he’s going to meet my parents and I his. Will he be invited to my sister’s wedding next spring? Will he still be in the picture when my brother graduates? Will my dog like him?
- I wonder if he’s “The One.” Granted, I’m young, but if my ring-less left hand is any indication, I haven’t yet found Mr. Right and this guy might be him. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy the excitement of dating, but the end of good relationships SUCKS with a capital “S.” So I’m hopeful that this relationship will go the distance—or at least last another 14 days.
