If you’re really tired of being single or have just been on a big string of awful dates, you might not catch some red flags with the most recent guy you grabbed drinks with. Even though nobody is perfect, here are some subtle signs that this guy is not your ideal match.
He orders a ton of unnecessary food and then tries to split the check.
We’ve all been in a situation like this, where you end up paying $20 when you only had a salad and a soda. There’s nothing wrong with splitting the check, but that should be decided at the beginning of the date. Using your date just as an excuse to get a discount on his four Long Island Iced Teas shows he’s not very considerate when it comes to other people.
He talks over you.
When you’re nervous, your conversation may get a little jumbled. But if he keeps interrupting you to talk and you can barely get a word in, he really doesn’t care what you have to say. Instead, he just likes the sound of his own voice. A trait like this won’t get better overnight and it’s bound to lead to a ton of disagreements.
He zones out.
It happens to all of us, but this is a first date — and if he zones out on someone he just met and can learn so much about, it doesn’t bode well for your future. Can you imagine how frustrating it’d be when he doesn’t listen to you and doesn’t remember details? It’s also a little rude. Even if he apologizes for it and continues on with the date, it’s hard to get over. You might think you were boring him.
He’s really late and doesn’t give a reason.
If the date is at 6 and he shows up at 6:20 without saying a word, you can’t rely on this guy. These days, everyone can text. Saying “I’m so sorry, traffic is awful” at least proves that he’s acknowledging the issue. Remember, your time is worth something. This won’t be the first or last event your date will be late for if you continue on with him.
He’s rude to the wait staff.
If he’s mean to a waiter simply because he’s a waiter, that’s a huge sign that he has no clue how to treat people. Waiters and waitresses often get disrespected daily for low pay. Even if something about the way he talks when placing his order seems off, it should be noted. He’ll get way worse as time goes on.
He leaves either a super high, or super low tip.
If you’re out and he’s treating, you might want to keep your eye on the tip. There’s nothing wrong with a large tip (especially if the service was great) but if he makes it obvious that he’s setting down a ton of cash, he could be doing it just because he thinks you’ll be impressed by his money. An empty gesture like that is a little odd. You’d expect him to tip high solely based on the goodness of his heart. If he doesn’t tip at all, that’s another red flag (and you should be ready to jump in and offer to cover it, if this happens.)
He’s a little too touchy-feely.
Even if you were hoping that the date would end with a hookup, it can be a little alarming if your date won’t stop touching you throughout the date. It’s nice to know that he finds you sexually attractive, but it can often be difficult to tell him that you’re uncomfortable. A great guy will respect your boundaries and not get too clingy and close the second you meet him.
He’s really negative.
Sometimes, people have bad days. We can’t always be “on.” But if he has nothing nice to say about anything or anyone, he may be a total downer throughout your whole relationship. Surely something good has to be going on in his life, right?
He smells like alcohol before he sits down.
If he’s in his twenties, this might just be part of his current lifestyle. Maybe he just wanted a beer to calm him down before the date, and that’s fine. But if he continues to drink a lot during the date, he may have a troublesome relationship with alcohol. If he wants to drive himself home after having a few, that’s another scary and dangerous sign, especially in a world where driving services are readily available. Addicts deserve love too, but maintaining a good relationship with an addict will cause a lot of unknown stress and worry. It’s something that you can’t change.
He asks you really personal questions.
You shouldn’t be talking about your number of sexual partners during your first date. If it’s a topic that you wouldn’t want to talk about with your parents, it should be off-limits for this first meet-up. This guy might not have the best social skills. But he could also be looking for incriminating information from you if things turn sour.
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