The life of a sass queen may look like fun, but the reality is it takes hours to pull off this much attitude. If you self-identify as a saucy boss bitch, you’ll definitely recognize these truths.
No one gets you like your squad. A true sass queen is nothing without her squad. They’re basically full-time cheerleaders that boost you up when you have a wobble and make you recognize how great you are. Good news or bad, they’re the first people you want to share the juicy details of your life with. Recognize a sass queen and her girls by the identical strut when they hit the mall.
Offend a sass queen a teeny tiny bit once and expect to be shut out for the next five to ten years. Sass queens aren’t blessed with the forgiving streak, so you’d better watch your step around them. Lose the good faith of a sass queen and she’ll turn ice cold on you in the blink of an eye. Slow to trust, sass queens are even slower to forgive—even if all you did was wear the same top as them on a night out.
If it isn’t in the group chat, did it really happen? For a sass queen, life begins and ends with the group chat. Always on the hunt for gossip, they eagerly spread any news that meets their ears among the squad. The juicier the goss, the happier a sass queen is, especially if it involves one of her arch enemies.
Whether it’s a pajama day or a night on the town, sass queens dress to impress. Slob days take on a whole new meaning in the sass queen dictionary. Put together a badass millennial pink hoodie, comfy leggings, and unnecessarily furry slippers and you’ve got the sass queen at-home starter kit. It doesn’t matter if they’re out on the town or having a lazy day, sass queens understand the importance of looking the part.
The person tipping hand emoji is bae. 💁 Few situations in the sass queen’s day can’t be illustrated by the tipping hand emoji. It’s the perfect emoji to use when you know you’re right, when you’ve pulled off an excellent social stunt, or when you’re royally pissed off with someone else—basically every situation a sass queen deals with on a regular basis. You’ll see a sass queen coming when she sets the group emoji to this little nugget.
Want to ruin someone’s day? Reply to a text with a period and no kisses. Sass queens are masters of social media and no one knows text speak better than them. If you get a text from the sassy lady in your life with one less kiss than normal or (heaven forbid) the dreaded period and nothing else, know that you’re walking on very, very thin ice. Eggplant and dancing girl emojis, on the other hand, are all good.
You have that one song that brings out the Beyoncé in you. Every sass queen has her jam that gets her wild on a Saturday night. Popular choices include Beyoncé, Taylor Swift and Rihanna. Whatever it is, expect the dance floor to be cleared when this tune comes on—there’s nothing a sass queen loves more than being the center of attention.
An outfit isn’t complete without bold lipstick. Ruby red or shocking pink, nothing says badass like a bold lipstick to finish off any outfit. A sass queen is naked without her pout and can often be found reapplying in front of a mirror throughout the day. The darker the shade, the sassier the lady, just to warn you.
Social media is 50% stalking and 50% showing off. No sass queen operates without extensive social media profiles, but getting social is the last thing on her mind when she uses them. Time is divided equally between stalking ex-boyfriends (or promising members of the opposite sex) and posting envy-inducing pictures of herself, ideally on vacation. Special mention to the person who puts the time in to take those pictures of you that are perfect for your feed.
There’s not a problem in the world that can’t be solved with the words “treat yo’self.” Bad day at work? Treat yo’self. Feeling lonely? Treat yo’self. Tuesday? Treat yo’self. There’s not an occasion out there that doesn’t warrant a treat in the sass queen’s book, and she’ll make full use of her right to indulge herself because sass queens know they’re worth every bit of extra effort that goes into keeping them happy.
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