We’ve all got them – the backhanded compliments, the subtle digs, the not-so-secret eye rolls. Here’s how to handle your frenemies with a bit of sass and shut down their negativity:
1. When they give you a backhanded compliment
“Wow, you almost managed to make that sound like a genuine compliment. Almost. Next time, try dialing down the thinly veiled insult. I prefer my praise without a side of snark.” Calling out their insincerity shows you won’t tolerate their passive-aggressive behavior.
2. When they try to one-up you yet again
“Congrats on always needing to be top dog. Must be exhausting constantly trying to prove you’re better than everyone else. Here’s an idea: instead of competing, try being genuinely happy for other people. It’s called being a supportive friend. You should try it sometime.” Frenemies often feel threatened by your success and feel the need to assert their superiority. Reminding them that true friends support each other’s achievements might make them rethink their competitive attitude.
3. When they gossip about you behind your back
“So, word on the street is you’ve been running your mouth about me. I’m flattered you find my life so fascinating, but if you’ve got something to say, say it to my face. I prefer my gossip firsthand, not through the grapevine.” They want to damage your reputation without confronting you directly. Calling them out on their behind-the-scenes chatter shows you won’t be intimidated by their rumor-mongering.
4. When they “forget” to invite you to things
“Oh, another event I wasn’t invited to? It’s almost like you’re trying to send a message. Well, message received. I’ll be sure to ‘forget’ to include you in my future plans. Funny how selective memory works, isn’t it?” They’re trying to make you feel left out and unimportant. Giving them a taste of their own medicine might make them reevaluate their tactics.
5. When they flirt with your partner
“Hey, I appreciate your interest in my significant other’s relationship status, but last I checked, they’re not on the market. How about you focus on your own love life instead of trying to sabotage mine? There’s plenty of fish in the sea, so cast your net elsewhere.” This is a blatant attempt to undermine your relationship and assert their own desirability. Call that BS out!
6. When they copy your style or ideas
“Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, I know, but there’s a fine line between taking inspiration and straight-up copying. How about you put your own creative spin on things instead of just mimicking me?” While it’s nice to be admired, blatant imitation feels like a violation. They need to find (and do) their own thing!
7. When they downplay your achievements
“Thanks for the underwhelming response to my big news. Really felt the enthusiasm there. In the future, if you can’t muster up some genuine support, a simple ‘congrats’ will do. No need to rain on my parade.” Their lackluster response to your successes makes their true feelings pretty clear. Calling out their lack of support shows you won’t let their negativity dampen your shine.
8. When they give advice you didn’t want or ask for
“Wow, I didn’t realize you’d gotten a degree in life coaching overnight! Thanks for the unsolicited advice, but I think I’ve got this covered. When I need your expert opinion, I’ll be sure to ask. Until then, how about we stick to topics you actually have experience with?” Frenemies relish the opportunity to feel superior by telling you what to do. Setting boundaries and asserting your own competence puts them in their place.
9. When they fish for dirt on you
“Well aren’t you quite the curious cat! Hate to disappoint, but my personal life isn’t juicy gossip fodder. If you’re that desperate for drama, I hear reality TV is hiring. How about you focus on your own story instead of digging for mine?” Their nosiness is a clear violation of your privacy. Shutting down their attempts to gather dirt shows you won’t be manipulated. Nice try, though!
10. When they play the victim
“Ah, the classic ‘woe is me’ routine. You’ve got the victim act down pat. But here’s the thing: it really does get old fast. Take some responsibility for your own actions and quit expecting everyone to feel sorry for you. It’s time to grow up.” This level of constant self-pity and blame-shifting is manipulative and exhausting. Enough really is enough.
11. When they give you the silent treatment
“Oh, giving me the silent treatment? Real mature. Well, two can play at that game. I’ll just enjoy the blissful sound of not having to listen to your drama. When you’re ready to use your words like an adult, you know where to find me.” They’re trying to punish and control you, but the joke’s on them. Refusing to engage in their childish games takes away their power.
12. When they make everything about them
“Thanks for making every conversation and situation revolve around you. It’s not like anyone else has anything going on, right? How about we share the spotlight for once? Other people have lives too.” Frenemies have a knack for turning every discussion into a monologue about their own lives. Their self-centeredness leaves no room for anyone else’s experiences or feelings. Calling out their narcissism might make a difference here.
13. When they make snide remarks
“Did you wake up on the wrong side of the bed or are you always this delightful? Those snide little comments aren’t as clever as you think. If you’ve got a problem, let’s hash it out directly. Passive-aggressive jabs are really immature.” Frenemies love to use subtle digs to express their disdain without openly confronting you. Don’t put up with this crap.
14. When they’re always “too busy” for you
“Hey, I get it, you’re a busy person. We all are. But if you can find time for Instagram selfies and Netflix binges, you can spare a minute to reply to a text. Just admit I’m not a priority instead of giving me the ‘too swamped’ excuse. I appreciate honesty more than empty promises.” Their flakiness and lack of effort in the friendship reveal their true priorities. Calling out their inconsistency and demanding honesty shows you value genuine connection.
15. When they’re just plain toxic
“Listen, I’ve tried to be patient, but there’s only so much negativity I can take. Being around you is like emotional quicksand – the more I struggle, the more I sink. For the sake of my own well-being, I’ve got to cut ties. I wish you all the best, but from a distance. It’s time I invest in relationships that lift me up, not drag me down.” Sometimes, despite your best efforts, a frenemy’s toxicity is too much to handle. Their constant negativity and drama can take a serious toll on your mental health. Recognizing when it’s time to walk away is a must.
Enjoy this piece? Give it a like and follow Bolde on MSN for more!
