Sick Of Being Single? Here Are 11 Things You Need To Start Doing ASAP

When you’ve had so many failed relationships that you can’t count them on one hand, it can start to feel like you’re just bad at love. Obviously, that’s not the case — all you need to do is change the game a bit:

  1. Stop waiting for guys to make the first move. We can’t leave everything up to men. You might fear rejection, but so do guys. The reason you don’t get hit on could just be because your personal Prince Charming was too intimidated. Take a chance, and you just might be rewarded for it.
  2. Find happiness in solidarity. You need to stop relying on relationships to make you happy. You can’t bet your happiness like that — it’s an investment that will never pay out. You’re putting all your eggs into one basket, and with pressure like that, you’re bound to lose.
  3. Stop listening to your heart and start listening to your gut. Up until this point, you’ve followed your heart, but where did that get you? Alone and single. Has the idea that your heart doesn’t know what’s best for you ever crossed your mind? When it comes to love, the best thing you can do is listen to your gut, because your instincts will point out the good guys from the bad.
  4. Start believing you deserve more if you ever expect to get it. No matter how many times you’re reminded that you deserve the best, you’ll never have it until you believe it. So many women are willing to let a man walk all over them just so they don’t have to sleep alone at night. That’s not love. True love is built on mutual respect, so if you want the love you really deserve, you need to realize you’re worthy of it.
  5. Learn to spot the BS. There are way too many smart women getting played. Why is that? Why do women let men walk all over them? Why do they choose to change the bad boys rather than invest in the good? At the end of the day, feeding into his lies is just playing dumb. Love is a strategic game, so put some logic into it and you’ll stop the BS dead in its tracks.
  6. Change your routine. Are you going to the same old coffee shop every Monday morning? How about the same tired bar on Saturday night? What you need is to mix it up. The best way to increase your odds of finding love is to do the unexpected, because the more people you meet, the more fish in your sea.
  7. Make friendship your foundation. Every relationship needs trust and communication. Who do you trust more than your friends? Stop thinking of a boyfriend as a man who will dote over your every want and need. A relationship is one of the most unique and beautiful friendships you’ll every have, so cherish it — don’t demand it.
  8. Leave the pity party behind. If you want to change your bad luck to good, you have to stop feeling sorry for yourself. Do you know how many single women there are? What about single men? You’re not alone, so stop feeling like the only solo player in a world of couples. If you want to change your luck, you’re going to have to change your attitude.
  9. Know exactly who you are. You could spend a lifetime searching for love and never find it, because you didn’t take the time to get to know yourself first. You want to meet the man of your dreams, but how on earth is anyone else supposed to get to know you if you don’t know yourself? Find out who you are and be yourself from day one to finally find your perfect match.
  10. Figure out what you want. What’s your end game? Do you simply want a partner? What about marriage? Or kids? What kind of man do you want standing next to you? If you don’t know what you’re looking for, how will you ever find it? Knowing what you want is half the battle, so figure it out before you start searching for Mr. Right.
  11. Don’t make finding love your top priority. Never forget that you already have a life. Men are attracted to women who have their own crap going on, but if you’re preoccupied with looking for the missing link in your love life, you’re just letting the rest pass you by. Don’t end up gambling away all your chances at love. Instead, make your own luck by going out and living your life.
Kelsey Dykstra is a freelance writer based in Huntington Beach, CA. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing from Grand Valley State University and been writing professionally since graduating in 2013. In addition to writing about love and relationships for Bolde and lifestyle topics for Love to Know, she also writes about payment security and small business solutions for PaymentCloud.

Originally from Michigan, this warm weather seeker relocated to the OC just last summer. Kelsey enjoys writing her own fictional pieces, reading a variety of young adult novels, binging on Netflix, and of course soaking up the sun.

You can find more about Kelsey on her LinkedIn profile or on Twitter @dykstrakelsey.