Your relationship is new and not that serious yet, but you actually like this guy and think you could build something real with him. However, you can’t shake the feeling that something is just a bit off, and that something has to do with his previous girlfriend. Could it be that he’s using you to get over his ex? If any of these things are happening, chances are you’re just a rebound for him and he’s not taking you seriously.
They literally JUST broke up before you got together. If only a couple of weeks elapsed between him ending his relationship with his ex and getting with you, that’s a pretty big sign he’s probably just using you to get over her. After all, a few weeks isn’t enough time to heal from the end of a relationship or to numb all the feelings he had for her, so what’s the rush? He needs to take time to process his emotions before he’s truly ready to move on.
He talks about her a lot, even when you’re in bed. She’s in his past, so why does it seem like his ex is constantly coming up in conversation, even when you’re in bed together? Obviously she was a big part of his life so he’s going to mention her from time to time. That’s not a problem in and of itself, but anyone would start to wonder if your boyfriend is using you if his ex is the star of most of your conversations. He’s clearly not over her!
He posts you all over his social media. This seems like a good thing on the surface, but is it really? A guy who plasters you all over his social media pages, especially in the earlier stages of your relationship before you’re a real couple, is a guy with something to prove. Seems like he’s hoping his ex will check out his feed and see you there and get jealous that he’s moved on without her.
He’s still in regular contact with her and tells her things first. There’s no reason that people who used to be in a romantic relationship can’t still be friends, but that takes time, and usually, there’s a lengthy period in which you go no contact with your ex so that you can both do the necessary reflection and healing that needs to happen before you’re able to have a platonic connection. If he’s always talking to her and texting her 24/7 and seems to go to her with big things in his life before you, he’s likely using you.
He’s literally never been single. How on earth can he possibly get over his ex if he doesn’t know what it means to be on his own with his own thoughts? A guy who’s never been single will really struggle when it happens, so he might have felt desperate to fill the role his ex did in his life as soon as they broke up. That’s where you come in. You give him sex on tap and keep him from having to confront his life as an individual rather than as part of a couple. It’s pretty sad, actually.
He seems to really hate her and talks crap about her constantly. Again, this might seem like a positive thing on the surface because if he hates her, he’s surely over her, right? Not necessarily. In reality, he could be so full of emotion because he still loves her and is angry or upset that they’re no longer together. Talk about a red flag!
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