Growing up, it’s not just important to have your physical needs met but your emotional needs, as well. Your parents might have been great about making sure you always had food on the table, a warm place to sleep, and clean clothes to wear, but if they never gave you a hug or told you they loved you, it can have a major effect on you as you grow older. If you relate to any of the following things, chances are you didn’t get enough affection as a child.
1. You find it really hard to express your feelings.
If expressing what’s going on inside you feels like trying to speak a foreign language, it might be a sign you didn’t get enough affection as a kid. But hey, it’s never too late to learn! Emotions are a part of being human, and it’s perfectly okay to feel them and express them. You may need to work with a therapist on this, but it’s a skill well worth mastering.
2. You crave other people’s approval.
Are you always seeking validation from other people even if you don’t really even value their opinions that much? This could be a sign that you didn’t receive enough positive reinforcement in your childhood. Remember, your worth isn’t defined by other people’s approval, but by how you see yourself. You have to learn how to back yourself and stand on your own two feet.
3. Intimacy is a struggle at times.
If you find it difficult to form close, intimate relationships, it might stem from a lack of affection in your early years. Whether you’re uncomfortable with physical displays of affection or even just letting your guard down to let other people get to know you, it can be hard when you’re just not used to it. It’s okay, though. Building trust takes time, and it’s perfectly fine to take baby steps toward forming deeper bonds.
4. Your fear of rejection is strong.
A fear of rejection can often stem from not feeling loved or accepted as a child. But remember, everyone experiences rejection, and it doesn’t define your worth. You’re still amazing, and the right people will recognize that. Plus, every successful or happy person on the planet heard “no” a whole lot of times before the “yes” replies started rolling in.
5. You’re a bit too independent.
While being independent is a good thing, being overly so might mean you learned to rely on yourself too much as a kid. Maybe you had to take on the role of parent or you were neglected a lot, leading you to have to grow up too soon. Remember, it’s okay to lean on others sometimes. We all need a little help now and then.
6. You find it hard to accept love.
If accepting love from other people feels uncomfortable, it might be because you didn’t receive enough of it growing up. It always feels a bit weird for someone to be vocal about their feelings for you when you’re not used to hearing positive reinforcement like that. But here’s the truth: you are worthy of love, and it’s okay to let people in and accept their affection.
7. You experience constant self-doubt.
Always doubting yourself could be a sign that you didn’t get enough encouragement as a child. You lacked encouragement, support, and affirmation, so as a result, you’re never sure that you’re getting it right. You’re more capable than you give yourself credit for. Trust in your abilities and give yourself the kudos you deserve.
8. You tend to isolate yourself.
If you tend to isolate yourself from other people more often than not, it could be due to a lack of affection in your early years. If you grew up spending a lot of time alone, that becomes normal to you, and being around other people is the thing that feels weird and uncomfortable. Remember, it’s okay to reach out and connect with people. There’s a whole world of friendships waiting to be made.
9. You’re a bit of a people-pleaser.
People-pleasing can often stem from a desire to receive love and affection that wasn’t fulfilled in childhood. You go out of your way to do things to endear yourself to other people in the hope that they’ll give you the love you so desperately crave. But here’s the thing: your worth isn’t determined by how much you do for other people. It’s okay to put your own needs first sometimes.
10. You sometimes feel like you don’t deserve to be happy.
If you often feel unworthy of good things in life, it might be a sign that you didn’t receive enough affection as a kid. You grew up feeling miserable to the point that it became your default mode of operating, and you eventually decided that must be the case because that’s what’s right. But here’s a reminder: You absolutely deserve happiness. So embrace the joy when it comes because you’re worth it!
11. You struggle with self-care.
If taking care of your own needs feels like a foreign concept, it might be because you didn’t receive enough affection as a child. Remember, self-care isn’t selfish. It’s essential. You can’t pour from an empty cup, and constantly neglecting your well-being will have dire consequences in the end. Make it a priority.
12. Your walls are sky high.
If you’re constantly on the defensive, it could be a sign that you’re protecting yourself from the lack of affection you experienced in your early years. It’s okay to let that wall down sometimes. Genuine connections come from vulnerability and trust.
13. You have trust issues.
Trust issues might stem from not feeling safe or secure as a kid. You couldn’t rely on a parent or caregiver to be there for you and look after you, so you’d rather not open yourself up to the possibility of being let down again. But remember, not everyone is out to hurt you. There are trustworthy people out there. It might take time, but opening up to trust can lead to fulfilling relationships.
14. You have a hard time identifying your feelings.
If you often find it hard to pinpoint or understand your feelings, it could be due to a lack of emotional nourishment in your childhood. It’s okay, though. Understanding emotions is a journey, and it’s perfectly fine to take your time exploring it.
15. You’re overly critical of yourself and other people.
Being overly critical can often stem from not receiving enough affection and positive reinforcement as a child. This is even worse if the feedback you did get from your parents or guardians was always negative. Of course, the truth is that nobody’s perfect. It’s okay to make mistakes and learn from them, and it’s okay to extend that same understanding to other people.
16. You feel lonely a lot, even in a crowd.
Feeling lonely, even when surrounded by people, could be a sign you didn’t receive enough social and emotional connection growing up. Remember that it’s okay to reach out and form connections. You’re not alone, and there are people who care about you.
Enjoy this piece? Give it a like and follow Bolde on MSN for more!
