People sometimes misunderstand you — they assume that you’re rude or way too blunt when really, you’re just trying to be honest with them. It’s frustrating, especially because you don’t want to be the type of person who hides their real feelings. Here are 16 signs that you’re not being impolite or disrespectful, you’re just super straight-up.
1. You don’t sugar-coat anything.
Some people feel the need to be super-nice before telling someone the truth so that they don’t feel judged or criticized, but you don’t have time for that! You’d rather be direct and unapologetically yourself, without being mean, instead of wasting anyone’s time or causing misunderstandings.
2. You ask the tough questions.
If someone pitches you an idea or tells you about a dream they want to chase, you won’t give them lukewarm pleasantries. You’ll ask them questions to find out more and to challenge them to think about the situation in a new way. This can be a tad uncomfortable for insecure people, but that’s not your issue.
3. You legit want to help.
One of the problems with being honest with others is that you might sometimes give them unsolicited advice. Yes, you want to help people, but it can make you come across as rude. Try to stick to the rule that you’ll only ask for advice when requested. Then you can go crazy!
4. You avoid small talk.
Since you want to get real with everyone, you avoid small talk. It’s difficult for you to engage in talk about the weather or the latest tabloid gossip. In fact, it can be downright draining for you! You’d rather have meaningful conversations or not bother.
5. You speak up if you disagree.
Instead of trying to hide your real feelings when someone expresses an opinion you don’t agree with, you tell them exactly how you feel. While this can be unnerving for others, as long as you do it nicely, you shouldn’t censor yourself. Why should you keep your opinions to yourself?
6. You refuse to tell people what they want to hear.
Yes, it’s uncomfortable to tell people the truth, but that doesn’t stop you. You’d rather be real with people instead of telling them what you think they want to hear. Honestly, they probably appreciate it even if they don’t say it.
7. You don’t have to say that you’re honest.
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One of the things that can make you rude to others is if you’re always talking about how honest you are. If someone tells you that your honesty is too critical, you’ll be empathetic. You won’t say, “Well, I’m honest. Deal with it.” That’s just trying to excuse yourself being a jerk.
8. You’re not out to hurt people’s feelings.
The thing about being honest and open with others is that you’re actually doing it because you want to be kind to them. Truth is essentially about kindness and respect, after all — you care enough not to lie to them. If, on the other hand, you’re telling the truth to put people down and hurt them, you’re being rude. It’s that simple.
9. You’re honest about your shortcomings.
Being an honest person isn’t just about telling it like it is with others. You’re also honest about your own flaws and shortcomings. So, you’ll admit when you’ve made a mistake or when you don’t know something. You don’t try to act like you’re perfect because you know you’re not.
10. You give constructive feedback.
It can be difficult to deal with feedback, and that’s the truth for everyone! But instead of jumping in with criticism, you know how to give people constructive, useful feedback that actually helps them. You actually want them to be better, not to feel terrible about themselves.
11. You can take feedback too.
It’s rude and unfair if you’re dishing out criticism but then you throw a tantrum when you receive it from other people. Honesty is a two-way street. You can handle getting negative feedback because it helps you grow and evolve.
12. You’re clear that it’s just your opinion.
There’s nothing worse than dealing with someone who acts like their opinions are facts. This can make the other person feel bad and resentful about the so-called honesty they’re getting. Instead of doing that, you always explain that what you’re saying is just your opinion. People can take it or leave it, that’s fine.
13. You’re always compassionate.
When trying to get someone you care about to accept what you’re saying, like if you’re trying to get them to quit smoking so they can boost their health, you don’t lose sight of compassion. You’re not cruel or judgemental with them, which can make you seem rude and unsympathetic.
14. You think before you speak.
Sometimes, being blunt seems to be an excuse for a rude blurting out of whatever words come to mind. It’s easy to imagine how this can ruffle some feathers. You don’t engage in that. You take time to think about how you want to talk to the person, especially if you’re being honest with them about a sensitive issue.
15. You don’t throw your opinion at them.
It’s never cool to tell someone that they can’t be upset with you because they asked for your opinion. That’s not going to work to make them feel any better. If you regularly receive this reaction, it’s worth checking your honesty approach to make sure you’re not being rude.
16. You take time to self-reflect.
Being honest with others is going to come across as mean or condescending if the other person knows you’re not honest with yourself about your life. So, take time to check yourself! Some self-awareness and self-reflection is good to keep you on track and ensure your life is filled with consistency.
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