Since When Does Every Guy Want Kids? I Can’t Seem To Meet One Who Doesn’t

It’s hard to believe, but I can never find a guy I like who doesn’t want to get married and start a family. That sounds like every woman’s dream, but I have no desire to be a bride or have kids, so I’m feeling pretty discouraged at this point. WTF?

  1. As I get older, it becomes more of an issue. When I was a young, carefree kid, it didn’t matter what I thought about starting a family. No one even considered that stuff. We just wanted to be in love, spend time together and have fun. Now it seems like death is staring every guy in the face and they’ve all decided they need to procreate ASAP.
  2. I’m at that age when guys make up their minds to settle down. Full disclosure – I’m in my early thirties. I don’t particularly want to date younger dudes. Guys my age and older? It’s like there’s some mental button that gets pushed at around 32 and they’re all suddenly ready to wife someone up and have babies. No thanks.
  3. I’m attracted to “nice guys”… I don’t understand why every guy who seems decent and sweet and kind also wants children. I mean I kind of get it, I guess, after writing that… but there’s got to be at least ONE out there who isn’t interested!
  4. … who all seem to want kids… It’s like I’m just a sucker for sweetie pies who want to snuggle babies and be great dads. That’s wonderful and all, but there’s no point in me dating them. Anything we have together is automatically doomed. I’m not going to change my mind.
  5. … but I’m a “nice girl” and I don’t! I’m struggling to find a decent man who doesn’t want a family, but I’m a great girl. I have good values and morals and I’m compassionate and thoughtful. I’m also a good girlfriend. If all that is true, then there have to be men out there who are the same, right?
  6. My girlfriends have the opposite problem. As fate would have it, my friends keep dating men who don’t want to settle down or take responsibility or have adult relationships. Of course, I’m not attracted to any of those guys. Figures. Shoot me now.
  7. Either guys don’t want relationships at all or they want to settle down right away. There has to be a man out there who wants the middle ground. I don’t want a commitment-phobe who won’t call me his girlfriend or tell me he loves me. I want someone mature and open and vulnerable. I also don’t want someone who wants to tie me down and knock me up! Can’t I get something in between?
  8. My guy friends cannot comprehend how I’m having so much trouble. Every single guy I know tells me, “That doesn’t make any sense. Guys should be falling all over themselves to find a girl who doesn’t want kids! You’re like a unicorn!” Yeah, that’s what I thought too. Apparently not. Who knew that even in the big city so many men want to establish a family?
  9. Guys keep changing their minds on me… Either we started dating when they were young and hadn’t decided yet, or they thought they didn’t want families and then changed their minds. For whatever reason, this keeps on happening to me. I hardly believe what any man tells me at this point.
  10. … or they just say it’s cool and secretly hope I change my mind. The worst thing ever? Having a guy tell you that it’s okay that I don’t want kids because he just wants me … only to tell you differently later on. I’ve had multiple boyfriends who either didn’t believe me when I told them my feelings or just hoped that they could sway me eventually. It’s not going to happen. Men need to listen to the words coming out of my mouth!
  11. I don’t want to deal with someone else’s kids either. I’m now in the age bracket where I potentially have to deal with dating divorced guys who may have children with other women. While I wouldn’t have to actually go through pregnancy and childbirth, there’s still a ton of responsibility in being a stepmom! A man’s kids are always going to come first – and they should – but I don’t really want to be tied down to that.
  12. I refuse to lie about what I want to please a man. I’m not going to say I may want children in the future just because I like a guy. I don’t want to give anyone false hope. I’m in my thirties and I’ve never had even the slightest spark of desire to start a family. I was not a child who daydreamed about my wedding or a house and a husband and kids and a dog. I’m just not that girl. Sorry not sorry.
A former actress who has always loved the art of the written word, Amy is excited to be here sharing her stories! She just completed her first novel, and is also a contributor for Elite Daily, Dirty & Thirty, and Thought Catalog. Amy is the founder of What If Journey and can be found on Twitter @amyhorton18. You can also visit her website at