Being A Strong, Single, Independent Woman Isn’t Easy

Being A Strong, Single, Independent Woman Isn’t Easy ©iStock/Geber86

Many people assume that being a strong, independent single woman means that we’ve got it easy — but just because we don’t have kids, a full-time guy or a combination of both doesn’t mean our lives are any less complicated than anyone else’s. We still deal with a ton of crap and the weight of it all has to be supported by one one person — ourselves.

  1. We carry the full financial weight of life on our own. We all pay bills, and guess what — they suck for everyone. But we’re single, with no secondary income to support any unforeseen circumstances like the loss of a job or a huge home repair, and we don’t have spouses to depend on to pick up the slack. It’s all on us. We have to carefully strategize and anticipate the same way any couple would; we just have one less resource if crap hits the fan.
  2. We don’t have routine help to carry stuff into our homes. Do you know what carrying 12 grocery bags up several flights of stairs to our apartments is like? Or making 17 trips to and from our cars to get everything we need into our place? It’s even more horrible in the pouring rain. It might seem like something small, but when you’ve been doing it on your own for a long period of time, you realize how handy it is to have an extra set of hands. In the meantime, the extra arm strength we’re gaining is a happy bonus.
  3. If our friends can’t help us, we have to hire an extra set of hands. When we want that new couch or when something handy needs to be done around the house that we can’t do ourselves, we have to actually pay people to come and do it for us. It might not be that much easier with a spouse, but it’s just one extra way we need to strategize our lives on our own.
  4. It’s harder to find travel companions when we want to tour the world. Fortunately, there are group travel options out there, but they cost a ton of money and that’s not always the best solution for places we want to see. When we want to travel, we have to search a little harder to find someone to accompany us when we’re single — especially when the bulk of our friends are coupled up and only traveling with their partners.
  5. No, guys don’t pay for all our stuff. As much as people assume that being a single woman means that we get free meals, drinks and so on, that couldn’t be further from the truth. Our financial obligations are just the same as everyone else’s, and we’re not just out here freeloading off every sucker we can find. When you’re a truly strong and independent woman, you handle all of it on your own.
  6. We have a million things on the go just like everyone else. Being single doesn’t mean that we’re just sitting around watching Netflix and doing nothing with our lives. We have the same downtime as everyone else, but when we’re out there hustling, we’re hustling hard. Some of us are working multiple jobs to keep everything together. Easy? No, but we’re on it.
  7. Our sex lives aren’t as glamorous as everyone thinks. It’s actually tiring AF staying on top of it all. When we get home from killing our lives single-handedly, we don’t have the time to do the bed-hopping everyone assumes. Some singles live for the thrill of the party and the sexual encounters, but we’re too busy hustling to notice the sex we might be missing.
  8. We’re just as tired AF after a long hard week of bossing our lives solo. Yes, single life is exhausting. When you’re running every facet of life with only yourself to depend on, it gets draining. We do the same housework, the same bill payments, the same stressing and socializing as everyone else. So no, single life isn’t easy — stop assuming it is.
  9. There are never enough hours in the day. I think we can all agree that some days, it would be great to have more time to get stuff done, and we feel this often. The moral of the story is, being an adult is hard AF no matter what your relationship status is. And for those of us single women who are bossing our lives and trying to stay sane with no help, our lives are a tough balancing act… and we wouldn’t have it any other way.