Sisters Before Misters — Don’t Do These 12 Things To Your BFFs

There’s more to being a good friend than hanging out and vowing to keep each other’s secrets. Your BFFs are the ones who are there for you through thick and thin. They cheer you up when you feel like crap, build up your confidence by helping you see what an amazing woman you are, and generally make your life a better place. Show your appreciation for them by never doing these 12 things:

  1. Be a control freak. It’s not a good idea to insist that your friends meet you at the bars or restaurants that you want to go to or control every single plan that you have. You can’t be such a control freak that you don’t think about what your BFFs want. If a guy was doing this to you, you would think he was super arrogant, so why are you behaving like this?
  2. Talk your friends’ ears off. You’re not the only person in the world… or in your friend group. When you’re a good girlfriend, you should never hog the conversation and talk all about yourself, your feelings, your thoughts and what’s going on in your world. Things have to be 50/50. Sure, you can chat about your news, but you have to ask your best friends what’s new with them too. If you don’t, you’re being a crappy friend.
  3. Act like you’re in therapy. Your girlfriends are just that — your girlfriends. They’re not your therapists. They can’t listen to you go on and on (and on) about the problems in your life. It’s just not fair and you’re doing your friendship a major disservice if you’re so dense as to think that this is a good idea. If something is honestly wrong, you have to find a professional to talk to you so you can get the help that you need. But your friends can’t do that for you, no matter how kind and supportive they are.
  4. Ditch them for a guy. You know the drill: you never, ever ditch your best friends for the new guy in your life. You just don’t. But no matter how old-school this rule is, you’ve probably been guilty of this at least once. You’ve gotten so caught up in your new relationship that you just can’t think about anything or anyone else. Of course, this totally backfires when you get dumped later on because that’s the way that these things go. It’s like bad friend karma or something.
  5. Cancel a million times. If you’re a canceler, then your friends are probably used to you bailing on dinner plans the morning of… every single time. They may claim that you’re just flakey or quirky, and sure, they put up with it, but they shouldn’t have to. You’re being the worst friend ever if you don’t value your plans. Your friends have busy schedules too, but they’re making time for you because they care about you and want to hang out. Don’t take that for granted.
  6. Bail on important days. You should never miss your best friend’s birthday party or a big dinner celebrating her new promotion or new job. Being a good girlfriend means cherishing the special moments in their life, and that means showing up when it matters. If you bail on these times, you’re hurting your friend more than you might even realize.
  7. Make your single friends feel crappy. If you’re in a relationship and make your friends feel bad if they’re not, then you’re pretty much the worst person ever, let alone the worst BFF. How would you like it if the tables were turned? You know how tough dating is and how hard it is to meet someone that you care about. So why would you tell your best friends that they should just stop being so picky already and date someone?
  8. Talk about your boyfriend 24/7. If you’ve had the pleasure of chatting with a friend who’s super obsessed with their relationship, then you probably already know how much this sucks. You want to ask them if they have an original thought in their head or if everything they do and think is somehow tied to this guy. When you’re the one talking about your boyfriend all the time, you might not even realize it, but you’re definitely being awful.
  9. Refuse to learn from your mistakes. Your best friends may love you to death, but that doesn’t mean that they want to hear you bitching about the same stuff all the time. They get that you’re going through something or that you’re confused, but when you don’t learn from your past and keep making the same mistakes, that’s tough to deal with as a friend.
  10. Ignore good advice. Sure, your friends may have good intentions but they don’t always give the best advice. What they would do in your situation might be totally different and you might have completely opposite personalities. But if you ignore good advice from your friends when it has to do with your dating or love life, that’s pretty awful. You don’t actually have a reason not to listen, especially if they have experience or know what they’re talking about.
  11. Side with people who aren’t them. There’s an unspoken rule of BFF-ship: always take your friends’ side. No matter what. You have to support them and tell them they’re doing the right thing. If you don’t do this, you’re just not a good girlfriend.
  12. Take them for granted. At the end of the day, good friends are super hard to find. They might even be trickier than a good guy (and that’s saying something). If you refuse to understand how amazing your girlfriends are, then you’re not a good girlfriend, no doubt about it.
Aya Tsintziras is a freelance lifestyle writer and editor from Toronto, Canada. In addition to writing about dating and relationships for Bolde, she also writes about movies, TV, and video games for ScreenRant and GameRant. She has a Political Science degree from the University of Toronto and a Masters of Journalism from Ryerson University. You can find her on Twitter @ayatsintziras and on Instagram @aya.tsintziras.