As a guy, texting isn’t really my forte. Sure, I do it because I have to, but it’s definitely not my preferred method of communication (much to the chagrin of my previous girlfriends, lol). That being said, I realize pretty much everyone would rather text than talk on the phone or even in person, so I’ve had to get on board with it. Here are some rules I swear by to make the process as painless as possible that I think most guys will appreciate.
1. Keep it short and sweet.
Long paragraphs can be overwhelming (both to write and read). Opt for short messages that get straight to the point. It’s easier to follow and keeps the conversation flowing smoothly. When you make sure to focus on the main point and that’s it, it not only makes your texts easier to read but also respects the other person’s time — and helps preserve your own.
2. Mind your timing.
Avoid texting during late hours unless it’s a prearranged conversation. Respect each other’s sleep schedules and prioritize chatting in person whenever you can. The timing of your texts can make a big difference in how they’re received. Late-night texts might not be appreciated, especially if they disrupt someone’s sleep. You have to be mindful of the other person’s schedule and how they like to communicate.
3. Embrace emojis in moderation.
Emojis add personality to your messages, but don’t overdo it. A well-placed emoji can enhance your tone, but a barrage of them can be confusing. Emojis can be a fun way to convey how you’re feeling in your messages, but you need to use them in moderation. While a smiley face or a thumbs-up can make your messages friendly or flirty, depending, you can take things too far to the point that it gets a little weird.
4. Be clear and direct.
Avoid vague or cryptic messages. Say what you mean and mean what you say to make sure you don’t contribute to any misunderstandings. Clarity is key in effective communication, especially through text messages where the other person doesn’t have tone and body language to go on. Make your life easier by being as clear as possible.
5. Respond in a decent amount of time.
While you don’t need to message back instantly, timely responses show the other person that you actually care about the conversation. It also keeps the momentum going. No one likes to be left hanging, so make sure you send even a quick message to let them know you got their text but you’re just busy and will hit them up later. Otherwise, they might assume that you’re not interested in them or speaking to them, and that’s not good.
6. Avoid too many abbreviations.
Using too many abbreviations can make your texts hard to decipher. Stick to commonly used ones or spell out your words for clarity. Texting shorthand can be convenient for saving time, but you have to be smart about it. Overloading your messages with abbreviations can lead to confusion, especially if the other person has no idea what you’re talking about.
7. Proofread before sending.
Typos and autocorrect mishaps happen to the best of us, but they can be awkward at best and downright conversation killers at worst. Take a moment to review your message before hitting send. You don’t want your message to get lost in translation, right?Give it a quick read and make sure there’s nothing too egregiously wrong before hitting send.
8. Respect people’s boundaries.
If you’re texting with someone who prefers to avoid certain topics unless they’re talking to you face to face, honor their boundaries. This is a fundamental aspect of healthy communication. Some topics are better off left un-texted about anyway, especially since they’re complex and nuanced and it’d be way too easy for both people to take things wrong. Identify people’s lines and don’t cross them.
9. Use texting for making plans.
Texting is excellent for arranging meet-ups and coordinating plans, and to be honest, that really should be their main use. It’s quick, convenient, and can be done in the middle of a hectic day without impeding on your progress. What’s not to love? Whether it’s setting up a dinner date or confirming a meeting time, fire off a few words and wait for their reply. It’s simple and kind of brilliant.
10. Show genuine interest (as much as is possible via text).
It’s hard to show interest over text, I’ll give you that. However, it’s definitely possible and something you should strive to achieve. Ask questions via text and actively engage with the responses you get. I know I said that it’s important to keep texting short and sweet, but if you’re talking to someone you met on a dating app or just catching up with a long-distance friend, it’s okay to delve a little deeper.
11. Keep your humor light.
When you decide to throw some jokes into your texts, make sure they’re lighthearted and unlikely to be offensive. Avoid controversial humor or sarcasm that might be misconstrued or misunderstood by the other person if you want to save yourself a lot of awkwardness and aggravation. Feel free to forward memes or pepper in some one-liners here and there, just make sure it’s PG.
12. Use good grammar.
While texting often feels more relaxed, you can’t let basic English go out the window. Good grammar not only enhances what you’re saying but also showcases your communication skills. You want to be easy to understand and extremely accessible, and speaking (0r typing) clearly is the best way to do it.
13. Acknowledge their messages.
When someone shares good news or vents about a tough day, take a moment to acknowledge it. Show a bit of empathy and actively engage in the conversation. You might be slammed or in a bad mood, but you can at least take a few seconds to type a few words on the screen so that the other person feels heard.
14. Avoid too much slang.
Slang keeps things informal, but using too much of it can make you seem immature and like you don’t know how to communicate very well. You have to strike the right balance between colloquialisms and more structured conversation so that you come off as laid-back but not illiterate.
Enjoy this piece? Give it a like and follow Bolde on MSN for more!
