Sometimes it feels like loving him is the only thing you’ve got left to hold on to in this world, but there comes a time when you know you have to let him go. No matter what brought you there, stopping loving him can help you learn to love yourself again. Don’t believe me? Consider this:
He is not your world.
He was, for a while, but now it’s time for you to let that fade away. You’ve given so much love in his direction, and now it hasn’t worked out. It feels devastating, but it doesn’t have to be. Remember that big huge world out there? It’s full of possibilities, and they’re waiting for you to focus your attention on them.
You’ve given up so much.
Now it’s time to take those pieces back. Loving and losing don’t make you a failure. You were brave to give that part of yourself over to someone else in search of connection, but you don’t need to leave your heart hanging out to dry. Remember that grieving is normal and natural, but you need to prioritize your own emotional well-being. It’s time to take back what you gave away.
You can’t save a relationship that has run its course.
If he’s done, you have to accept it. No amount of hanging on will change things. Once you accept that it’s time for you to evict him from your heart, you’ll start to remember how to love yourself again.
Your love for him is draining you.
Even though you know it’s a lost cause, you’re still pouring so much love in his direction. It’s now being wasted, and it’s pulling your focus away from what your own heart actually needs. Love is not a finite resource, but your emotional energy is. Redirect it towards yourself.
You’ve forgotten what makes you happy.
You’ve spent so much time focusing on what make him happy that you’ve let your own happiness slide. It’s easy to do, especially for women. It’s what we’re told we need to do to nurture a relationship, but you’re the one who needs to be happy in your own skin at the end of the day. Taking the focus off what made him happy to be with you and channeling it into what makes you happy to be with yourself is so important.
It’s not your fault.
Sometimes things come to an end, no matter how hard you tried. It doesn’t mean your love wasn’t real and special. You can still learn from it and cherish the good memories. But you have to be able to cherish yourself, and your own special qualities. Without that, you’ve lost the core of what make you, you. You can find it again, but you have to let the love you set aside for him come back into your life.
You can let him go without hurting yourself.
It might seem impossible to do, but you can disentangle your love from him. It’ll hurt at first, but you will remember how to redirect it towards yourself by the time you’re done. The truth is, you know it’s what you need. You know that you can’t keep loving him forever. It’s just scary to admit that.
Time is your friend.
Your love is a powerful and beautiful thing. But sometimes it takes time to change its course. When you’ve spent so long spending all of yourself on someone else, it can be hard to love yourself again. That’s totally understandable, and it’s just one of those things that will take time to unlearn and relearn.
You don’t need his love to make you whole.
The only love you need for that is the love you spend on yourself. That love is what will make you strong, what will give you hope, and what will keep you fighting. Remember that when it feels like you can’t possibly stop loving him. You can, and you will. And one day, you will be so much the better for it.
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