My Only Soulmates Are My Friends & For Me, That’s As Good As It Gets

The idea that there’s only one person with whom you connect 100% in a perfect way — your “soulmate” — is sort of silly. We connect with different people in different and very profound ways, and those connections don’t have to be romantic. In fact, I count my best friends as my real soulmates, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

  1. My real friends know I’m not perfect and they love me for it.  Romantic relationships are based on fantasy and expectations, as well as showing the best version of ourselves. In strong friendships, you show your weaknesses and embarrassing flaws, and you still love and accept each other. I cherish that acceptance and love and I wouldn’t trade it for anything.
  2. My BFFs are like a second family. I don’t necessarily talk to my family ALL the time but I know I can always rely on them. The same goes for my best friends — they’re the sisters (and brothers!) I chose to have in my life and they’ll never leave. Unlike boyfriends, they’ll always be there for me, and that kind of dedication doesn’t come along every day.
  3. Their care has no ulterior motives. My friends are there for me without expecting anything in return other than my friendship. They don’t expect to become my number one priority or my life’s purpose, but they still make time and space for me in their lives because they love and value the person I am. That’s a beautiful thing.
  4. My friends are the silent heroes of my life. My BFFs are the people I turn to on the bad days and the good ones. They sit and listen to my problems patiently and do their best to try and comfort me and to help me see the bigger picture when I simply can’t. I offer them the same in return, of course, but I still consider myself the luckiest girl on earth.
  5. My wildest and best memories will always be with my friends. When I get older and look back on my life, I’ll always look back and appreciate all the fun I had with my friends. In fact, I’ll likely consider those times to be the best ones of my life. Life has thrown tons of crap my way already and there will likely be plenty more, but with my friends there, I know it’ll all be okay.
  6. My friends are big contributors in making me who I am. I carry pieces of my friends with me wherever I go. Everything we’ve been through together — the tough times, the fun ones and everything in between — has informed who I am and who I hope to become. In this way, they’re an even bigger part of me than they realize.
  7. My friends teach me important life lessons. Through all the good and the bad, the fun and the falling out, my friends are here to help me grow and become a better person. They’ve taught me the importance of love and patience, and they continue to show me that there are no perfect people or perfect relationships. They’re a blessing in every way.
  8. I chose my friends among hundreds of people. My BFFs chose me as much as I chose them, and they decided that out of all people they’ve met, I’m worth it. I know from experience that not all people qualify to be my friend, and that very few are worthy of my trust, time and unconditional love. They’re my crew on my life’s big project.
  9. When I’m older, it’s my friendships that will mean more than anything else. Sometimes it feels like a dream career or a boyfriend that’s the missing piece to my happiness puzzle, but later in life, I know it’s my relationship with my friends that will matter the most. The famous Harvard happiness study found that in the long run, it’s the close quality relationships that make people happy, and not the career and money we spend the best years of our lives chasing.
  10. My future husband will be my soulmate only if he’s my friend too. The unique soulmate connection I’m looking for in a relationship can only happen if my husband has all the qualities that my BFFs have. When the romance fades, he has to know how to be a true friend above everything else. That’s what I’m after.
Chrisa is a freelance travel and lifestyle journalist who is obsessed with urban life, big cities, and untold stories.