How To Stop Attracting Players Once & For All

For many women, dating is as much about avoiding the bad guys as it is attracting the good ones. If you’re the type of woman who can’t seem to stop luring players, here’s how you can fix your dating game and stop wasting time:

  1. Know your worth. If you have no self-respect, guys will feed off it. The minute they see a girl who’s unaware of how funny, beautiful and intelligent she is, they immediately try to get in your pants without taking you on a proper date. Don’t let this happen. Realize you’re an awesome girl who deserves a guy who treats her like a queen.
  2. Be upfront and honest about what you’re looking for. If you can tell right off the bat that you and a guy aren’t clicking, don’t let your niceness keep you from telling him the truth. It’s not your fault you’re not interested; sometimes the timing just isn’t right. Being upfront about your feelings is a key way to finding genuine guys who will treat you right. Same goes for letting guys know upfront that you’re looking for a real relationship and not just regular hookups. That will weed out the a-holes real quick.
  3. Surround yourself with good people. Odds are, they have some single male friends. It’s important to choose your friends wisely because in the end, their friends become yours, players included. Don’t give people second, third and fourth chances. If they show you that they can’t be trusted, cut ties and find people on the same wavelength as you.
  4. Don’t constantly focus on finding “The One.” Guys will be able to tell if you’re desperate. Being single can suck sometimes, but that doesn’t mean you can’t be happy. Spend time with your friends, pick up a new hobby and realize that you have the rest of your life to be in a relationship. Constantly focusing on finding a proper date is exhausting. If you relax and trust the process, it will happen naturally. It’s a cliche, but it’s true.
  5. Don’t rush the process. Being in a hurry to hook up with someone rarely results in a happy relationship. When you’re getting to know someone new, really listen to them and see if you have anything in common. It doesn’t take long to see if you’ll make a good couple, but you certainly won’t be able to tell that after a single date. Slow down — if it’s the real deal, there will be plenty of time to celebrate those relationship milestones.
  6. Be picky about where you socialize. Just because your friend invites you to a party Saturday night doesn’t mean it’s worth attending. See if you know anyone else going to it. If a lot of your friends are choosing to stay at home, maybe there’s a reason. It’s better to stick with the people you know than commit to hanging out with strangers.
  7. Don’t date online. No, really. Whatever you do, stay offline. Sure, the likes of Tinder and OK Cupid may seem convenient, but many times, that’s where all the players go to hook clueless girls looking to get more dating experience. When you date online, you only have the person’s profile to refer to when getting to know them. They could easily pretend to be someone they aren’t, in turn trapping you in a “relationship” you’re much better without.
  8. Stay off social media. You don’t have to cut out social media altogether, but the more you’re on it, the more likely you’ll be to see happy couples. It’s psychologically tiring to constantly envy other people’s lives. Being glued to your phone will make you more susceptible to meeting players because you’ll be obsessed with dating anyone, instead of a man who is deserving of you.
  9. Know the signs of a players. If he’s super arrogant and constantly talking about himself, you pretty much know he’s not going to treat you very well. And if his friends are rude, immature and just as conceited as he is, you can expect him to be just as bad, if he hasn’t already shown his true colors.
  10. Learn from your mistakes. A major key to repelling players is recognizing early on that a guy isn’t worth your time. If you notice a pattern, stop it from continuing before you’re in too deep. Remembering your past can be painful, but it’s beneficial for you to remind yourself why certain guys proved to be terrible partners.
Bolde has been a source of dating and relationship advice for single women around the world since 2014. We combine scientific data, experiential wisdom, and personal anecdotes to provide help and encouragement to those frustrated by the journey to find love. Follow us on Instagram @bolde_media or on Facebook @BoldeMedia